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Here's the situation: Me: 40, a genuinely good person and husband loyal, honest, respectful not at all perfect, but have had relationships 2 from another marriage, ages 7 and 5 (good -), they stay over every other weekend. I'm somewhat spacey, a little self centered, but still giving Sometimes heavily committed with work, school, etc., but the rest of time is set aside for my wife. Starting to rethink having more (- below). Her (my wife): 38, 2nd marriage, no, desperately wants to be a mother biological clock is ticking Sweet, attractive, friendly, excellent stepmother Explosive, violent temper with destructive verbal attacks, beyond whats warranted (not towards my though) Starting to resent my because they're not hers Blaims me for her behavior saying it's solely a result of me being unavailable Requires an enormous amount of attention with extremely high expectations (has admitted to a void from her Father being completely unavailable and dismissive and needing me to make up for it) Has anger and resentment towards me and discredits anything good I do while finding fault in me where she can Still, aside of her flaws, a very special person Us: Been together going on 5 years, of them married When it's good, there's nothing like it, when it's bad, it's awful each other very much, but have a bad history (I moved in and out of the house about a dozen times in.) Tried unsuccessfully to have a biological (insemination, etc.) In and out of marital counseling to no avail I know this is my story and she has hers but I don't know what to do. it ever work? seeking a quiet and peaceful Leadenham
there wouldn't be a second date ;-) I think it's unreasonable as hell to put that on someone on or before the first date and you might have to kiss a few frogs first. Your interests aren't the only ones that matter his interests are just as important. I think if you pay attention you can figure out whether someone's serious. I personally would be a little weirded out by having this kind of discussion even at date six. Here's a short (and not all-inclusive) list of things I'd be working out before I was ready to discuss marriage and a family 1. Most important, is she a nutjob or just pleasantly quirky? 2. What about her moral compass? Is she honest? Is she as nice to the waiter as she is to me? 3. Does she know how to laugh? Does she know how to laugh at herself? 4. Is she self-aware? Committed to self-improvement? 5. Do we stimulate each other intellectually? 6. What about spirituality? Do my beliefs and hers fit together? 7. Are we sexually compatible? (This one takes awhile as most people can honeymoon well.) 8. How does she react when the going gets tough? Okay. Once I get the answer to all of those then I'm ready to discuss commitment. I'm guessing this probably doesn't line up with the biological clock ticking away, pinkytoe but a good relationship takes time and work. If you brought up marriage and on the first date I'd be one of those who ran away screaming as you'd just flunked #1 ;-) in there - sexy ebony women of VailYou're not sure you want to divorce and neither is she. You are not ready for that. Someday one or both of you figure it out and act. I believe that since we both choose to get married, then we should both choose divorce if it's really the best thing. Who knows if this be a snag in the term of your marriage (yes, it's a big snag) or the edge of the where everything fell down. don't act on your emotions act on doing what is right. Live your life as impeccably as you can, keep being a good husband as hard as that might be because that's who you are. don't let this change you into something. Time and your personal integrity tell you when and if you need to act. single dating sites free
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