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It sounds as if your husband is recognizing that it wasn't so bad for you to visit his dad. Maybe he realized that you ARE a member of his family and that your should be able to pay respects to their grandfather. This is also an opportunity for you and your husband to show the that even though your marriage is over, you still respect one another and treat each other accordingly. And then do so. Where you sit in the church be up to you. You didn't mention how old the are, but if they can handle the funeral, it would be appropriate for them to be near their father and for you to be able to the if they need you to comfort them. Your behavior during this difficult time help to ease hard feelings harbored by your mother-in-law. Not that you should seek to impress her, but you should certainly not increase the tension and stress being felt by everyone during this time. taboo female soughtSince I'm the reverse of you (a guy married to a female doctor) let me tell you what I noticed: she was a cheap date, which surprised me since I was accustomed to high maintenance women in NYC and. She explained (and it made sense) that if you look at 4 years of undergrad, plus 3-4 years med school, then internship, *then* residency well, docs get paid a little toward the end, but basiy you have over a decade of living on tight budgets. Not surprisingly, docs pick up tightwad habits as a result. If you're used to studying *hard* 12 hours a day and eating Top Ramen noodles for dinner, it feels strange to jump into a mode of patriotic American consumption at a high level. Of course, I don't know the guy, take my advice with whatever grain of salt your instincts tell you. Oh, two other things: time demands of med. school and residency mean no social life. So if a doc seems "retarded" socially, that's why. They're likely brilliant, but they've been imprisoned in studies for 10-12 years. On the 10 year old car: I laughed because a couple years ago, in a fit of economic analysis, I sold my BMW 7 series and got a 10 year old used Toyota Tercel. In San, I just don't need a car most days, and a newer BMW just gets keyed and broken into a lot. I *-* my Tercel now. 40 mpg, and the SF car thieves ignore it. Anyway, don't veto a doc just because he still has med school habits. Judge him on character and attraction, student habits can be changed. 8 minute dating
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