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ca65 looking for a mutual rewarding type relationshipBackground: DW and I both hold down full-time jobs and we are both pursuing advanced degrees in our field. I just finished my MS and she is just starting hers. I am currently pursuing a PhD. Our careers, our pets, and our family (parents, aunts, uncles, no -) keep us very equally busy, but my schedule is more flexible and more forgiving. I worked/schooled from 6:30am to 6:30pm today while DW worked/is schooling from 8am to 8:40pm. Both of us have had, tiresome days. We've had an abrupt schedule change in the past week and our house has become a sty. Laundry is piling up, the yard needs to be weeded/mowed, the flowers need to watered, the pets need attention, dishes need to be done, beds need to be made, etc etc. We share our domestic duties well. There is no defined division of labor in our house but typiy DW does laundry, I cook/do dishes and we share the cleaning responsibilities. We swap roles and help each other out all the time, but that is generally how it goes. Since DW has had such a day, I've been working hard trying to get the house cleaner we're both neat freaks (her moreso than me) and it stresses us out when the house is a mess. However, there is going to be a slight tiff when she gets home it happens every time. I've spent the rest of my day cleaning the house I'm working on laundry, vacuuming, cleaning cat boxes, dishes, mopping, the yard, etc etc. DW come home, notice the house is clean and then nit pick what I've done wrong or not quite right. I realize that her moodiness is stemming from her (and my) exhaustion. I don't know how to respond to her nitpicking. If I ignore it, she things I'm upset (which to a point, I am) if I bite the bullet and agree she thinks I'm being insincere, and if I get mad an argument ensues. What is the best way to respond to this situation I feel like its a lose-lose. We're not normally like this, but the new schedule is taking a toll on us and it take a while to get used to. I'm not asking for a standing ovation for cleaning our home I'd just like to not be criticized for not doing it as well as she would. Sorry for the length couple wants couple
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understand the concept of proportional response :) so perhaps you should understand that books can tell you a lot about people but it doesn’t replace the lessons of common sense that are learned when you actually spend time with people. You learn that everyone has feelings and strong opinions. You learn that it is more benevolent to be understanding toward everyone than to spend time telling others how much you know. you learn that if you can’t take the high road with others then don’t expect them to take the high road with you. You learn that bridges aren’t mended by insisting that you’re always right. And you learn that when you treat people ugly that a proportional response is only your opinion not A RIGHT. Your explanation as to why you flame some and not others is more like the old adage that a wolf does not bite a wolf. Not because of your wishful justification because no can rightfully judge his own cause. FTR I didn’t say that you always agree with ulula but you always defend my response to her rude comments inferring that even if you disagree with her that she is still right simply because your arguments are always designed to court the crowd. Free yourself!!! Oh and I adore ulula even though she is “the most vile troll here”…I find narcissism sexy. sexy Schaumburg women x
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