Joke for you: Husband's Best Friend A husband leaves the house to go pick up dinner for him and his wife. Shortly after leaving, the doorbell rings. It's her husbands best friend.
She's in her bathrobe. The best friend can't help but notice, and he says: "you have the nicest breasts".
"Thanks," she says, "but my husband would be mad if he heard you".
He can't stop thinking about her breasts. "I would pay you $ he owed me?"
ME: Not married, so I must be the best friend. SWM, educated, traveled, fun loving outgoing, decent, a gentleman everywhere except craigs and the bedroom :)
YOU: The wife, although not married is better Array want some online funLooking to meet someone new.. I'm not interested in talking to men so please don't bother..
I'm looking to meet someone new, form a friendship, and then if there is a connection and attraction have it go to new places (FWB). I'm not looking for a LTR/relationship. Please be around my age and in shape. I'm athletic and in shape.
Tell me about yourself, and please include a pic if you want a response.
I'm Looking for someone that is into the outdoors, being active, camping, hiking, gym, trying new things. I also go to.
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Have some drinks, party,spend the night and free 100 Get 100$ to party, Grey goose, Vodka whatever you need, watch some movies play some XBOX and have fun all night. wake up with a smile and richer! Apeldoorn webcam sexlooking for my one and only pet. pets are the best. ;) The good girl by day. Naughty by night type of thing. There sweet and loyal. They always will get there wants and needs without demanding them. They have a submissive yet strong personality. You get to treat them extremely well but not completely pamper them. They get to do what they want, but they have to obey orders. They're allowed to get really angry or embarrassed for having to obey. (but they don't hold a grudge.) They always want to be around and please there owner. They need constant physical attention and contact. what is not to love?
what i need in a girl.
1. your not constantly depressed, angry or annoyed. I mean, we all have are ups and downs. But I will feel like I'm falling you as a partner If I can't make you at-least smile. And I'll slowly blame myself for it.
2. Your not Bossy or demanding. why? because your becoming my mother. And I stick my feet in the ground and it makes me angry. honestly I'm really easy. asking will always work.
3. My sister likes you. and you can get along with my family. I mean. they Love me. I don't hide that I'm into weird and abnormal stuff. they know about my video-games and anime collection, and if they didn't noticed I'm a bit of a kinkster by now? maybe they thought dog collars were a swell accessory.
4. Understand that. If i fall in love with you. your screwed. You become the object of my every desire. and if your cool with a collar that really shouldn't be a problem.
about me: I'm the night in shinning armor idiot? You know, that one guy that puts everyone else first and gets over looked. everything else can be found out on are first date.
put master in the title if your real. lol mature sex contacts Paauilo Hawaii discreet chatlooking for a woman 40 fwb showers of red? m4w This is for real women only!! this will sound disgusting but, it's me not you so don't judge..I will give you the best oral sex that you have ever had. but, I need a few things from you. for starters, you MUST be on your period. It must be a very heavy flowing period. you must be clean, free of any/all disease. also, I would like you to piss all over me, in my mouth on my chest, all over me. if you are interested, please respond with "red, red wine" in the subject line. anything that does not have this in the subject line will be ignored. along with your response, please include a pic of you, and a pic of a tampon you just removed. If you have a friend on her period bring her too! the more the better. you BOTH must be CLEAN. Looking for this to go down anytime between now and 10 PM.
this sounds crazy, I understand, but I promise I am sane. some guys like feet, I think they are gross. just makes me feel excited
This is no joke, all interested please respond. this seems like an even trade, you get the best oral you will ever have, I will buy dinner as well while we get to know each other..all you need is your aunt flo and a full bladder. Sex is your choice.Latino lady looking for some funnnn.
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horny women in princeton mn He has been suffering from depression and low testosterone for quite a while. He's in treatment for it. Within the next couple weeks, he should finally be starting a new job. I am kind of hoping it helps boost his self-esteem and, along with it, his happiness and horniness. But at only $9/hour and with him saving up to follow me in my move, I don't think it'll get him far. He's been feeling really down because he feels like a "failure", and I try to support him and boost him up, but I think he really feels bad about his life situation and often says he wishes he had something to offer me. I have a college degree and a savings and good credit, and his highest education is a GED, he has awful credit and no savings, and he has been unemployed for months. It doesn't really bother me, but he says he feels like he's "weighing me down". Phoenix kinky granny from Phoenix
posting that you've rated is a waste of space or it's trying to claim credit for a compliment, so you can be complimented back, perhaps, in which case I guess it has a purpose. But then I don't like a top-posted "good morning" either. So just different styles. It is what it is. I don't like the "follow and neg everything the person says" stuff. That's just frickin' annoying. There's someone in the jobs forum who gets a -5 by everything he ever posts, always and it's been that way for YEARS. It's just tiresome. That's what makes the points meaningless, when they're just automatic. It's the same when people get fan clubs that just + them every time they show up. very cute girl at ambucs park winter st
A simular situation happened to my when he was in the Marines during Desert Storm. Only difference was he married the witch and she ran his credit cards up so high he still hasn't seen the light of day. Wish I could help this guy, but I don't have what he needs. Post Title: Back from need car Reply to: sale-***@ Date: -03-19, 2:18PM PST Dont even know how to ask but let me tell me story. After dating my g/f for 1 years i got deployed to. so i get a joint account and all my stuff in both our names so incase anything happens she can take care of it. dumb movce on my part. on top of my 6 month tour i got involuntarily extended another 6 months. pure hell. but as i was gone i kept my g/f updated with how i was doing and all and everything sounded good. so after a year of being over there i was done my enlistment. so as i am on my way home i and say i be coming home 1Feb06 and she says "oh yeah i be there" well i get there and poof not a dang soul there so i catch a bus to my apartment. only to find out it hasnt been my apartment for more then half a year. so i and say wtf and amd told that she couldnt stand not having me around. so she found someone. let my apartment go. sold mystuff on s list and gave rest away free. all she saved was my friggin clothes. oh and paying rent? no,no,no i guess it was spent taking her dang new b/f wherever and keeping him in some lifestyle. SOLD my damn car as well. 95 civic. not much but it got me to places i needed to go. i got an apartment. and slowly getting stuff for it. but what i really need is a car. i wake up at to catch busses to work to be there by 8 and work till 7pm and by the time i get home its 10-11pm depending on if the bus is on time so i dont any connections. its really tireing and i need any kind or car that can get me to and from work. this is real harsh and the va said they cant help me as i am not handicap. real tough. if you can help me with any free car it would be a great help. after sweating my bum off over there i come back and sweat over this stuff. this has been almost as stressful then being over there getting shot at. thanks i know you help me. this is in or around federal way female dick suckers Lake Charlestoo complicated. Am I the only one that just doesn't get it? I don't really want a cell phone, because I'm retired, and have no family .but I feel I might need one some time for an emergency~ They are now the size of a credit card, way too small for me to read, I'm 56. The are too small for me to, even with reading glasses. Way too complicated for me to understand sorry, I'm technologiy challenged. I've seen "senior cell phones" for sale on line, with accompanying videos they are still too small, and too complicated. Is there a cell phone for sale out there that's just a regular phone? No menus, radios, flashlights, texting, cameras, music storage. Just a damn phone! If I have an emergency and need to for help, what do I have to do -grab my glasses and instructions before using this new generation of cell phones? Why even have one? By the time you found your glasses, and tried to read the instructions on how to use the damn things, you'd already be dead. maybe I'm too technologiy impaired to own a cell phone. girls xxx
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