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" want us to put in new carpet and paint and totally re-decorate in a style that represents us both, so that it be our home and not me staying in his. How do I go about discussing all this with him without him backing way up again and just forgetting the moving in together? " Well apparently you nened help in the truth-telling AND how to have discussions without chasing him away department. "totally redecorate" and "everything was perfect" no contradictions (aka LIES) there your Tulsa charming is here ladiesFirst, thanks to all for your advice and suggestions. I have, a few times, given her a certificate for a "day at the spa", and think it's time to do it again. As someone here suggested, I do think there maybe a problem with depression. As previously mentioned,it's very diffifult to talk to her about any of this, because she gets defensive and angry quickly. Someone suggested I offer to bathe her, paint her toes, trim her pubes, etc, and I have done that. Rented the hotel room, bought some flowers for her, a nice robe, but she wanted no part of the toe painting or bush-trimming. So it goes As far as the double standard if she asked me to shave my armpits, legs and pubes, yeah, I would. Why not? I'm a believer in accomodating your lovers' wishes. Someone asked about the sex, and it is non-existant for the most part. But again, thanks to all for the advice. I'm going to re-read some of the posts and if I can find a way to make her feel good aboout herself asian women wants for men
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