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I found out from my vociferously ignorant neighbor that Deirdre has a new boyfriend. There was that initial feeling being replaced, of being bettered, of not being good enough, of wanting to lash out, of wanting to sulk in, I tried to rationalize it, mindspeaking that she will break up with him, that he's probably not as good as me, in this way or that. Perhaps I could swash this fly of a man. How dare..
That is all so pathetic. Those acid malice fulled emotions. I would like to say, being such an awesome charlie sheen of a man, that I pushed those negative selfish emotions away and they never came back. They come back. I get angry and thin, as if someone is holding my emotions up against the wall, as if my emotional well is being run dry, as if she broke my loving.
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feel like a ship in the ocean without a rudder. She has changed and stopped the "talking down" to me, but for how? Can it change? it change? Stay and wait for the other shoe to fall, or quit when ahead and what is on the horizon. Both painful moves. What to do girls Trenton with sexy toesby an old bat that still believed in and practiced psychoanalysis according to Freud. I shit you not, she said that when her daughter hopped up onto a bench and jumped off repeatedly during a moment of playing, her daughter was secretly hoping she (the mother) would jump onto the bench and fall off and die so she (the daughter) could abscond with her own father. And that this was all quite. I think it's twisted to think such things based off a game of "jump on the bench and jump off." I think people like THAT being responsible for the psychological well-being of others is fucking appalling, honestly. :/ adult sex forum
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