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was programmed at birth to be a Democrat, a big city liberal. My parents were and Catholic. Pardon any redundancy. In my slice of the East Bronx, you went to high school, you did a few years in the military, and then you came home to look for a job with Con Ed or the city. Two of my uncles were on the job, NY City cops. The guy across the street was a fireman. The neighborhood was mainly blue collar, Italian, Jewish, and just a Puerto Rican. The local political machine was run out of the Nest Society, a store front political club; or run out of the Step Inn, a bar on White Plains Road next to the fire station. The Step Inn was a microcosm of the neighborhood; the guy who owned building was Jewish, the guy who ran the saloon was, and the who made the pizza in the back was Italian. If you wanted a job with the borough or the city, or you needed something fixed on your street, you had to someone at the Nest clubhouse or at the Step Inn. There were no other political organizations in our precinct. Little did I know at the time, but my Bronx neighborhood was a mirror image of inner cities nationwide. I never heard anyone themselves a "conservative" and, just as surely, there were no Republican or Libertarian precinct captains in our area. I'm sure the good sisters of Our of Solace School must have mentioned that was the founder of the Republican Party, but for years I thought that that party had been killed by the Bull Moose Party at the turn of the 20th Century. Growing up, it would have never occurred to me, or anybody I knew, that political homogeneity was a bad thing. The Democratic Party was a rain maker, an employment office, and a pot hole fixer. There were no obvious reasons to question the civic monoculture or not to be a true believer. seeking submissive owassoYou spoke up even though your tender heart was on the line. You stood up for sanity. You got a couple firsts out of the way You got hurt too. And though it sucks, sucks, sucks you got that first out of the way too. We've all been through it. Sucks, sucks, sucks But know what? It's a rite of passage, a stepping stone to a real relationship. No one picks the right guy fresh out of the gate. No one escapes the learning curve. Naturally, you feel like hell right now. Naturally, you have questions. You'll prob never answer them to your satisfaction. But in the end, it's strengthening maturing to realize we never *really* know what's going on with someone we've only known six months. That no matter what he said or did, it wasn't a waste for YOU; the good times were good for YOU; it was an experience YOU wanted; and YOU acted with integrity. I'm sorry you're hurt. YET, this wasn't good enough for you. He lacks self-honesty integrity. Going forward, I you decide those are the crucial qualities to look for in a partner. If you need a mourning period, take one. But don't make it too. It's a good time to turn to real friends and to focus on yourself your goals. don't have break-up sex with an insensitive, self-centered user: you'll only get hurt. don't stay friends with him either. He's not conscientious; he's demonstrated a willingness to exploit you, and you don't need that kind of friend. years from now you can be friends with him, but not now. Not while you're hurt vulnerable. Not until you're so thoroughly over him you don't care what he does or doesn't do with that woman. You'll be fine. You've taken a step down the path to a genuine relationship with a partner who values you. A step toward something better and knowing what qualities matter over the haul. Much depends on YOU valuing YOU. So after a few chick flicks with Haagendas, get moving. Throw yourself into enriching activities: an exercise routine, the class you always wanted to take, the mountain you want to climb this. Take your eyes off him and focus on YOU. You'll think of him and that's okay peace come. I promise. But use this energy to better YOUR life. You won't be sorry you did. adult dating online
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