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I sucked it up and went over to her house. She pretended as though nothing had happened. I did not bring my bf. My sister and I cooked dinner, made conversation, and opened some gifts, and went home. The truth is, I do pity my mother, and always have. Although the thought of spending "quality time" with her these days practiy turns my stomach, I feel bad for her, so I do what is expected of me, even though I resent it later. But the holidays can be a very lonely time, and I'm sure it is scary to grow old alone. Ugh. Bah humbug. Xmas, all. And thanks again for the input. free Springfield swinger clips]whoop the school lunch menu, which who controls that? feds? They are teaching them to eat this way. i have been in school meetings, and they say their hands are tied, becuae they don't have the funding to change it. They have to give the what the gov't doles out. There is a new wellness policy in the school, that demands for school parties, the class have only 2 snacks, and they must be whole grain, rice cakes, whole fruits/veggies, popcorn, etc no nuts for allergy cookies, no, no cupcakes, etc. BUT look at the March menu for lunches those same feds concerned about wellness dole out: I'd like to them offering soup/salad w/crackers it'd be so economical OR do like in Calli or the Maharishi school in Fairfield Iowa and grow everything in a greenhouse, organiy, and feed the students that all year round, or have them exused for lunch like they do there, and the parents can give them a not hurried time to digest the nutrition. don't kick the parents. It takes a village. and that's something coming from me, the cake, right? I feed my other things, ya know;and we do exersize shows on FIT TV, and we go cross country skiing, etc but there are OTHER influences i can't control. I can't force them to eat like me. I am so strange, ewwWwwwWW if all the parents were like you guys, believed in real food, then i would not have this fight on my hands to keep them well. There are other people involved here, the other parent and his mother who are over pounds, they visit them..have to clean the plate(I don't have that rule) and my hubby, the hard working snack monster, some of us are working hard as we can, but we don't have enough people on our side. it is a difficulty. horney matches
bi mwm seeking versatile or sub btm a book ed: "ADD Friendly Ways to Organize Your Life" I began reading this book to mentally prepare for a visit to my dad's place, to make the first dent in tackling the parental hoarding situation. I also discussed the dynamics of hoarding with a psychologist and read about it on-line. I've seen a few programs on TV. An actual hoarder needs to be dealt with differently than a normal person. Guilt, shame, nagging, complaining does not work. They have layers of rationalizations that don't make sense to a normal person. For example, a stack of newspapers might be ed "a work station". Mom refused to discuss the hoarding mess, she would disolve into tears and then not talk to us for 9 months if it was brought up. I agree with the person who said the outside mess is a reflection of chaos on the inside. This is a complicated mental illness, some cross between OCD, ADD, depression and such. When dealing with a couple like my parents, it is further complicated by his resistance to change (he's used to living in the mess), criticizing, and the co-dependent lack of boundaries set in place over a 60 year marriage. My mother passed in so we are now facing the hurdle and burden of the clean up process, with, respect and, a ton of and a lot of psychological tactics to approach this one step at a time. However, you said that the GF is NOT a full blown hoarder. So, reading the book is a good place to start. There are genuine tips in it that can be helpful to tackling a big mess. Book also covers concepts like overwhelm, micro-focus, setting priorities, etc. I prefer the strategy of tackling stuff strategiy rather than one enormous clean out. It be interesting to if GF takes any steps toward bringing better organization to her life. And I'd wait to if she goes to counseling. Learning how to organize her life greatly benefit both her and her. The question is, do you have the, respect and to want to go through this process with her? I you at least try. After all, sometimes people come into our lives to be a catalyst for change. However, if you are a super neat freak, or tend to complain to get a person's agreement or compliance, then I'd explain to the GF that you are opposites in this regard, it is a deal breaker. completely relaxing massage tonight
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