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You say it's decision time but from what your wrote you've already done that. You just want to figure out how to get out clean. Ain't gonna happen, you're NOT clean so quit trying to come out smelling like a. Divorce stinks and it stinks bad. You're going to feel like dogshit, you SHOULD feel like dogshit. That's just a part of it. There's no right way, there is only the best you can do. It's that simple and oh so fucking hard to do. It's money where your mouth is time, you decided to say fuck it a year ago, let her scramble and dance around keeping some alive. So now here you are talking about guilt trips and making a decision when what you're really saying is you want to lower the boom after the holidays. Let the have a nice fake Christmas and for a New Year's resolution file a divorce suit. Yup, you're going to come off as a deceptive fuck, your wife be pissed because she suddenly did everything she could to save the marriage and you wouldn't budge. She or not bash you in front of the, depends on her and maybe you and how you act. It take time to have that pain go away and some never let go of it. So you have to ask yourself, what IS the best way? What does that mean? And most importantly, what are you prepared to do in order to know you did your best? Not say, fucking DO. How about research? Real research, go online and to book stores, get expert opinion, a divorce counselor, prepare yourself and prepare yourself to not react to attacks. Expect her to lash out, be angry, pull guilt trips she has every right to be pissed off and angry at you. You're rejecting her. So this becomes personnel, what are you personally willing to do in order to make sure you do your best? And maybe, perhaps before you pull the ripcord on all this shit ask yourself this question why won't I do that now in my marriage? Not saying that this one isn't DOA but you'll have time to contemplate that later too why didn't I lay it on the line years ago? Good luck to ya, good peeps fuck it up all the time and it hurts but DO your best. mature adult chat Xiaokenger
just to add something to the mix here. :) While reading your posts, (which are always so articulate and thoughtful, by the way) what came across first to me is you are a THINKER. So, maybe the key to developing those social relationships that would allow for you to be friends first would be ACTION sorts of things while expanding your circle. Let me explain. It was easier for me, as someone that lived in my head A LOT, to maintain a friendship with someone I was attracted to by getting involved in something physical not just social/chatting stuff. Much to my husband's chagrin, who happens to be an amazing cook, I never took that cooking class but that could be one if you wanted to keep things light. Martial arts is another one my girlfriends would always scoff until I convinced them to come down to the studio I trained at for years and they met fantastic guys from all walks of life and just TRY looking all sexy and cool with sweat beads pouring down your forehead. :) That actually helped my perpetually-with-the-wrong-guys girlfriend make lots of guy friends one of whom, a dentist, introduced her to the guy for her. Fantastic story, really. In a nutshell, she was sweet, smart, cute as a button but really jaded when it came to guys and just having a dojo with "brothers" (who were protective and full of friends/advice) was a particularly healing experience for her. She ended up marrying the guy and now they both train at that studio. Super cute. If something more cerebral and cause oriented is your idea of action, I did get involved in humanitarian causes that were dear to my heart and that has a way of engendering friendship while still keeping focus on something besides romance. One in particular, a shelter for teenage runaways, was where I found a friend that I eventually dated for a year or so. Great guy. We weren't right for each other term but we are still friends today. There's my.02. you find that friends first situation. They are INFINITELY better. Should the relationship end, it generally ends on a MUCH more positive note. Oh! And the sex is better too well YMMV. :) woman fucking MulvaneAll you need to know about today’s Prop 8 hearing at the 9th Circuit By Combs Today, the 9th Circuit hear oral arguments pertaining to two aspects of the v. Brown trial that began last year. The first hearing, at 2:30. PST, regard the appeal of Judge Ware’s decision to release the Prop 8 recordings taken during the initial trial. The second hearing, at 3:30. PST, regards the appeal of Judge Ware’s ruling to deny the proponents’ motion to dismiss Judge Walker’s decision because he did not disclose that he is in a term relationship with a (shorter: Prop 8 backers said Judge is so he is biased so his decision should be dismissed, Judge Ware denied their motion, Prop 8 backers appealed to the 9th Circuit). The 9th Circuit is not having any further hearings on the constitutional merits of the case itself or the issue of standing. Reply briefs regarding the California Supreme Court’s decision to the proponents standing under California law were due last Friday. Some background and links: You can read more about what to expect from the hearings and where to find coverage of them in yesterday’s preview post. Courage Campaign Institute’s Arisha Hatch and Jacobs be liveblogging the hearings right here on , so you can check back just before 2:30. PST for coverage to start rolling in. I know of you in the comments also plan to be there, so if there’s a tidbit you’d like to send in (a of the rally on the steps of the courthouse, an observation, etc.) send it on in to AT couragecampaign org and we’ll get it up. Roback Morse, the founder and President of the anti Institute (who we encountered here while Arisha et al were following the NOM bus tour in California), be liveblogging the trial for the National Organization for Marriage today. If you can handle the other side’s coverage of today’s hearings, you can check out NOM’s blog or Twitter feed. FULL STORY: lonely woman
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