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Look, I'm a hard ass or direct so take your pick but I do have feelings believe it or not, it's not a hobby to rip someone just to rip them. If you take the responsibility you'll also reap the benefits of the mistakes, you learn. It's part of being human. Leave your shit on your plate and your wife's on her's. You have a real hard decision in front of you, to roll the dice and if this marriage is worth saving or divorce. There were some options but I don't think an open marriage is something you would be able to stomach, that would be more like keeping the marriage going until something better comes along. That's not right and neither is staying married while you wait until the timing is better or you feel more certain about your chances of having a good life divorced. It's time to address this crisis and come to a decision. A decision where there is no guarantee of success either way, only a direction to take. I don't like the whole line about someone 'giving' you their life, youth, ect Like that's some free pass. As a divorced person I'm am out there and I can tell you the same women..and men, who wouldn't get in shape, dress for impression and put forth that full effort for their husband or wife work like a demon to do it when they don't have anyone in their life. Women who 'don't like sex' suddenly are all about it because they don't have that card to play any more, they would be alone. Your wife and you both still have the ability to treat each other the way you wanted to treat this new person, these are choices. Your wife has chosen not to address it with effort, have you? That's what you are going to have to decide on, is it worth the effort? Worth it knowing she still decide not to in the end but knowing you rolled the dice and TRULY tried, you go through the motions and you won't have that, you have to be willing to go down in flames and be the idiot that kicked a dead horse and ends up divorcing anyway. If you don't have that in you anymore, prepare for divorce. Inaction lead to the same disaster anyway so chose a course and commit to it. adult friend Karagozler
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