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Get two fishbowls, or any sort of glass container of reasonable size. Set 'em on a table in the hallway, or in the living room, or in the kitchen, wherever they're most appropriate. Get a few of those larger Peanut MM bags, empty them out into a third container (or a ZipLoc bag, whatever). Keep this in between the two containers at all times, and always make sure there's additional MMs available. Ok, the game- whenever someone wants to points ou a mistake that the other person has made, they have to put an MM in their own container. It's fine to point something out, but they have to add another coated bit of proof that they're doing so. If there's a glaring disparity in the amount of criticizing going on, then the two containers quickly become imbalanced (in terms of their tasty treat levels). That should help illustrate just how much you feel overwhelmed by the amount of "correction" you're receiving; after all, she's the one piling it up on you. If she still doesn't get it, then after one month of "filling them up," you switch to one month of "emptying them out." Each person can only say something if they take one of the candies from the other person's jar. That way, you now have the power to say as much as you like, and she has to endure the fact she's given you a lot of candies with which to make smart remarks. Now, if this is too unlikely to work, or won't have any impact, I'd suggest finding some other visual way of demonstrating just how much she's laying this criticism on you. Maybe a book? Ask her to write each problem down in a book, line by line, and keep track of just how things she finds wrong with you. The point is to try and demonstrate to her that, regardless of how right or wrong she thinks she is, there's a limit to how much nitpicking a human being can take. OH, and if nothing works, figure out a way to get an impartial third party (IE- psychologist) involved with the party. The game ideas only work with people who are willing to try (and who have a sense of, I don't know, nuttiness about relationships that's a peanut MM joke there), so you might just have to push it to external counseling. bbc 4 white female
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