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a Luxembourg of personalities is to use distraction. Right now, your thoughts are focused on him too much of the time. So you have to give yourself other things to think about. You have to get out of your comfort zone get damn busy with every spare minute in your day, and stay so damn busy that when you hit the sack at night, you fall asleep from exhaustion. (Better than laying there, thinking of him last thing, and crying yourself to sleep, eh?) Remodel the house, join a gym and workout every day, get a second job, go back to school, join a cause which needs volunteers, anything which get you out of the house and keep your mind, hands and body BUSY. Channel that energy you're using feeling sorry for yourself in a different direction. Especially consider doing volunteer work that helps others in need maybe Meals on Wheels, cooking at a homeless shelter, Red Cross relief projects, working at an animal shelter, etc. You'll generate some oxytocin (the feel-good hormone) naturally, and that boost your spirits. Pay attention to your body. Eat foods and stay away from fatty sweets the sugar highs and lows make you depressed. Same goes for caffeine. Get plenty of sleep. Next, write yourself a journal. Write down ALL the reasons this relationship with him is a BAD thing, and be very specific about your feelings. Go back and read it every time you're feeling weak and vulnerable. It strengthen your resolve. And try to be sociable with others, even if you don't feel like it. Those times you're wallowing in self-pity and don't want to be around others are *exactly* the times you NEED to be with others. Spend lots of time with friends and family, and cultivate friendships, hobbies. And do pamper yourself. Do your favorite things often; they do have a way of lifting depression. Lastly Get a bit more educated about typical teen behavior, especially girls, living with divorced parents one of whom alcohol. The behavior you described doesn't sound abnormal at all. She sounds like a typical 14yo who's dealing with a whole lot of conflicting emotions and anger at the world. normal, really. In any case, it's not your place to rescue this girl at the expense of your own sanity or pocketbook. You did the right thing. Good luck.
married woman Boone North Carolina NC Understand I am not so much worried about what my spouse is spending but the fact that they want us to live in limbo. My spouse has threaten to get ugly if hire a lawyer telling me to wait because we can work together so I wait while they live it up but how should this go on? I my spouse times begging that they draw up a proposal I can review so we can move on with our lives only to hit a brick wall. A week ago I wrote again asking again for a proposal to split the assets stating if the I need to move from the home I need to know as as possible. I also said I hire someone to draw up the final papers. My spouse still have not responded and I know it's because it put a crimp in their lifestyle but I can not continue to live like this. My spouse is unresponsive and has not filed, I need an attorney that take direction, get the job done so we all can walk away. I am a wonderful person and I wish them lots of but I need to have my own life!
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