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Lying to myself I keep telling myself that it will get easier and that every day I am getting a bit stronger. For the record I am getting really good at lying to myself. Waking up around 6, as I do nearly every morning these days; my head full of you and the foolish notion that I might hear a certain sound in the distance, I knew I should probably start my day. After all, once memories of us start flooding my brain, sleep is a distant memory. Since I knew that you would not be walking through my door and needing some music , I turned on my phone only to hear a song about needing you now (a song I have avoided at all costs for months). It was then that I buried my head in my pillow..funny after all these months it still smells like you. Hell, I even put Diet Coke in my drink this morning, as if it was the most normal action in the world. That in itself should speak volumes about where my mind is at. To be honest, I knew then that I was going to have to give into the memories and let the day take me where it will. Perfect mornings, first kisses and lunches among the just to name a few. Missing the catch in your breath when you move in for a kiss, the way your hands fist in my hair when I am next to you and the way your eyes always see right into my soul to name a few more. Every moment, stressful, tense and even having convos that neither you or I ever want to repeat are waging inside my head today and I can't shut them off..I suppose I should stop trying to hide from them. Yesterday, I watched you drive by continually. I saw you glancing my way and looking like a hot mess in shades, your strong arms glistening in the sun. You should know I wanted you to stop. I wanted to run to the door and into your arms. I hate this. I hate all of it. You think I walked away, I think you walked away..when in reality neither of us went anywhere. I love you and I miss you. You have no idea how much I want to hear your voice telling me that we are going to figure all of this out. Ran
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*Finally*! A place to brag about my bubble-blowing expertise! :) Can you blow bubblegum bubbles? Oh yes. I used to horrify people with the size of my bubbles, and they were (really I'm not making this up!) a point of pride with me. Now that I obsessively chew Nicorette gum, I *still* blow bubbles with it, though the gum isn't formulated for that. If anyone here is seriously considering a career in bubble-blowing and would like some advice on the best brands of gum to use, please feel free to. I consider myself a connoisseur. (All this proving that I've had virtually no 'life' for over 30 years!) What's your favourite fruit juice flavour? Grape, though I don't drink juices very often. Coffee,tea or hot chocolate? Coffee, coffee, and more coffee, please. you treat yourself to something for Christmas? Chocolate,a new sweater,anything? I'm hoping that my first-ever bonus can allow me to pay some bills and get some of the smaller monkeys off my back. I also be looking at a kayaking trip Have you ever radiy changed your hair style or length or colour and were you happy with it? I've gone from to short (and now to medium), but I've never colored it. When I take off my cap, the grey is getting a little scary, but I'm resisting the urge to color it and "stay -" forever, so far. sex free with a black 93545 girl 2 bbc for white girl
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