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I used to write the type of poetry
that focused on metaphors.
once I compared
the way a woman I loved made me wait and wait
like the choir In Beethoven's 9th,
because that's what the choir does.
They wait and wait and wait
for the conductor,
which in many cases is a crazy man with white hair
who waves his arms
to make sounds with a wand,
to tell people in robes to sing,
but my love didn't get it.
Perhaps nobody listens to Beethoven,
Or nobody uses metaphors.
It was probably just her, but
She still gets me down.
The one person who needs to read,
Does not understand, and
I'm sure Beethoven felt the same way.
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my, so I'm immediately thinking "hmmmmm " Sure enough, I was being dumped, albeit in a very polite, non-demeaning way. Said he likes me very much, very attracted to me blah blah. Said he'd been feeling awkward.. had to thikn about why. Realized that he "has to leave his job" (which involves travel, and required that he be based in Manhattan) he'd previously mentioned that he was going to retire in a year and that since he'll be leaving his job, he "must leave NY" I always got the sense that his NY apt. was just a crash pad for his job, and that his "real home" was his other place in a neighboring state, where he often went on weekends, but where I'd never been. He had also previously made veiled comments about someday moving back to West Coast where he's originally from, so I think by saying he now has to leave NY probably includes selling his home in neighboring state, and heading back West. So he said that he realized he shouldn't start something with someone in NY. Then added that he wasn't so sure we had enough to sustain a relationship anyway. I'm just really confused. If he'd said that he didn't want to me anymore cuz I didn't seem that into him, or he was getting mixed signals from me (due to my lack of "positive feedback" when he'd try to be a little touchy feely), that I could understand. Can guys be just as confused as women? Maybe it was about my lack of affection towards him but he didn't want to come out and say it, so he came up with other "excuses"? Or maybe he sorta did want a relationship with somebody even though he knew he'd be moving, and then for some reason he decided to move sooner, maybe BECAUSE I didn't seem into him? I always seem to try and rack my brains figuring out why men say certain things or do certain things, but I suppose men do the same thing about women? Maybe the one universal is that no one should ever try to figure out another person? That you can only take what they say at face value that you have no other choice? son wants to lick then breed mommythat's what I'm trying to figure out. I never pictured myself with someone that was a pot smoker, but at the same time, I also never pictured myself with a guy from a small town on the east coast (I'm born and raised in SF), but here I am in an otherwise happy and relationship. I guess I'm just thinking out loud to understand what my own parameters and dealbreakers are around this issue mature sex
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