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married women make love and fuck boys thinks differ, but it doesn't mean she's not dominant. For example, if what I thought of as a "dominant" was a someone who would cut my clothes off with a knife, tie me up, and fuck me until tear streamed down my face, would I find someone who chose my clothing, ordered for me when we went out to eat, and had me move about the house naked lacking in dominance? Sometimes a for power exchange can manifest in particular fantasies we come to associate with evidence of another person "being dominant", and if someone doesn't order us to do the specific act we've fantasized about it could seem as if they are not fulfilling the role we've cast them in. Please realize, whatever you have fantasized about power exchange, aspects are quite possible, but not be the inherent of the dominant. You need to clarify what it is you want. Would you be/feel satisfied, for example, if you were with a professional dominatrix, explained your fantasy to her, and she played it out with you, including all of the delicious details you've hoped to find in a prospective partner? If so, you can likely find someone to satisfy them for you. If you are expecting a prospective partner to come preloaded with all, or even some. of your sexual and/or power exchange fantasies, your search could be quite lengthy. Find someone likely, who you can trust and talk with openly, develop a mutually respectful relationship, and share your fantasies. Be specific. Tell her what you've enjoyed watching and reading about, point her toward some stories or porn you find powerful examples of what works for your body and, and tell her what you don't think you'd like and what you find totally unappealing or frightening. The only way to get what you want is to talk about it, or keep hoping for miracles.
seeking buddy to do stuff with "This really hurts me" and leave it at that. Providing you happen to run into her that is. I would stop going to the clubs and find a new friendship pool certainly. The other thing I would do is read, read, read. I've not been in AA but I've attended Al-Anon meetings and the prior suggestions are valid. I'd also read novels, just for fun and to get some distance from this situation. The reality is you are hurting. Not only from the divorce but from a friend that you trusted. Sadly, life changes and you have no control over how others behave. Your control is over your own behavior so make positive changes. Start walking before or after work. Find a place to volunteer at. Change from alcohol to lemonade or juice. Drink more water. Enjoy doing what you want to do but couldn't do when married. Find your own hobbies that don't involve listening to him play music. Read for your own enjoyment. A book take you to a different situation, time and place. Mostly, it change your focus from you to the book, at least while reading. It's all healing and you'll one day be fine with their friendship or relationship. Actually, you might just feel "whatever" when they each other because you'll be past it. Good luck.
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