Heart in Hand The world is a cold place
And with my swarthy countenance I'm reminder of my place
A disgraced face, like I had a choice of race
But that's not my plight these days
Finding and keeping a soul mate
Keeps me in a depressive state
I've tried all races, and ethnicities of late
Some small and some very big in the waist
Maybe somebody should tell me I'm ugly, its not too late
They all leave my place, stating we could never date
Maybe because of the speed at which I ejaculate
Maybe its my attitude towards women, some say its hate
I swear I just want one for the rest of my days
I swear I can be a lot better than some who leave the stadium after making it to homeplate
My heart is as big as this state
My soul is Tom Hanks on an island desperately wishing to escape
I see other couples and contemplate
Why can't that be me? I'm safe. I'm hopeful. I'm funny. I don't discriminate
How do you find the one when you can't even get a few dates
This isn't my pity party, its the revealing of my fate
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These are in no particular order other than the order in which I am thinking of them as I type:
1) Asian girl
2) Black girl
3) East Indian girl
4) Latina girl
5) Engaged woman
6) Pregnant woman
7) Married woman
8) Very short girl (5' or shorter)
9) Very tall girl (6' or taller)
10) Goth chick
11) Freaky pierced chick
12) High school teacher
13) Police officer
14) College student
15) Dominatrix (or really, just a girl who is the dominant type in bed)
16) Really skinny girl
17) Really fat girl
18) Really really slutty girl (with stories to prove you fit that label)
19) Virgin
20) Amputee
21) Deaf girl
22) Blind girl (although obviously she won't be reading this post)
23) Girl with really short hair (or even bald) with really big breasts
24) Girl with pink or blue hair
25) Girl in a wheelchair
26) Girl who is looking to get pregnant
27) Jewish girl
28) Mormon girl
29) A girl with a foreign accent
30) A girl who has been to jail
31) A girl who works in an ice cream store (I'll explain later)
32) A girl who is 18 years old
33) A woman who is 50+ years old
34) Lesbian
35) A girl who is extremely G-rated among friends and co-workers, but extremely X-rated in private
36) A girl with a serious medical condition (but definitely not an STD)
37) A girl with a very taboo secret (who is willing to share it)
38) A psychologist
39) A nurse
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