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I kinda thought I had implied that the two were/are factors with in this mess that is my heart. And I know your right about "I would suggest, not looking for someone but rather be engaged in life, pursue your interests, interact with others, expand your horizons and one day you reflect back on that journey as a great time and you'll look over at the woman you and smile." That's how I stumbled upon my one and only I have had. But recovering is far harder than I thought/hoped it would be. sexy passionate exciting marriedI think there's a difference between a passing fantasy and emotional or physical infidelity. I was on a business trip recently and met a married woman about my age with whom I thought I instantly clicked intellectually and emotionally we seemed to be much on the same and she was a genuinely nice person. Now the way wiz is wired if there appears to be an intellectual and emotional match it's natural for me to start thinking about a sexual connection. The woman was married (happily, I assume) and I am also happily married, but I spent a fair bit of the business trip thinking about spending or hours exploring this person. Hell, there are about women here where I've thought and hard about what it'd be like to spend a weekend seeing if I could get them to repeatedly out to their Deity and I've never met any of them. One of them was even kind enough to share a bit of a fantasy with me ;-) But fantasy is not reality. These people are all in (I assume) committed relationships as I am and the fantasies are fun but that doesn't mean I'd toss my current relationship to go bump uglies with someone who's piqued my interest. So should I leave my wife because I spent a couple evenings fantasizing about the nice woman I met? Hell, I *-* my wife fantasizes about people other than me whatever gets her through the night is just fine. Now if I was seriously considering breaking marriage vows then I think you're right I need to take a step back and take an objective look at things but for me there's a clear difference between fantasy and reality. Hell, there's a girl at the local Hooters who's almost thirty years younger than me but she's got the bright eyes, the quick smile and the sharp wit that really attracts me and I've thought several times about what it'd be like to entertain her for a weekend but all it is is fantasy. In real life she and I would hate each other after not much longer than that weekend, as although she's got most everything I look for in a woman she and I might as well be from different planets when it comes to intellectual and emotional maturity. I'd tire of her quickly and she'd probably feel the same. As I said I *-* my wife fantasizes about other people. wants for love
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