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More times than I can count, it seems like I have heard an awful lot of bumpy stories about adult living with their parents. You need to move out. You two are in way too close a proximity to each other and everything that you are explaining to us is nature's (rough!) way of telling you to get the hell out of there. He isn't built for this situation and neither are you. Was he being an ass? Yes. Does he have unhealthy tendencies? Probably. None of that changes the fact that you need to get your act together and fend for yourself. So put your big girl panties on and into reality all the resources and paperwork for you to go live in your own place. I guarantee that your moving out take a lot of heat off your relationship with your Dad. Pelham free chat line
They're a community org local to you providing services and support for queer women in abusive relationships: The Network/La Red: -*** I don't think it's at all extreme to request a transfer from your manager. In fact, if your workplace has more than one location, transferring to an entirely new job site would be even better. It would probably be inconvenient, but it sounds like you're having a lot of trouble with keeping her away from you, which between that and being closeted makes me think going the human resources route wouldn't work for you. That said, if you can't transfer or find another job, the place above could also help you with locale-specific advice as far as what you could do to stay safe in your workplace. I'd especially ask about how to talk to management/HR, and look into support and counseling for learning to stand up for yourself while respecting your need for self-protection. Sometimes those two needs seem opposed to each other, but it's definitely possible to have both. It take awhile to learn how, and you'll likely stumble a lot to get there, but peace and sanctuary within and out lie at the end. As for how to do all that, at heart I think it starts with you deciding you're worth it, and certainly worth living this one life with. Then you'll have a place to start when it comes time to tell your abuser to go away and stay away for good, while taking whatever action you need to completely disengage yourself from them. If studs are your core attraction, there are plenty around who would treat you with and respect. Lying, cheating, and bullying for sex aren't acceptable no matter how anyone identifies. I you'll be able to find what you need to get out of this relationship. Partner in butch/femme relationships does exist, just as it does in any other kind of relationship; just with b/f, some of it tracks along fairly traditional gender lines. Your local support should be of help without trying to pathologize who you are and what you like, and the same should go for the important people in your life. small endowment and ed but loves to lick seeking affectionate womanSUBMISSIVE 20 year old looking for a master. divorce men
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