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Your natural state is to be attracted and in. You then took years and years to destroy that natural state through whatever bad behaviors. It get better if you change your behavior but it take years. An example: Flowers are a good idea and should be given regularly but they are for HER, not for you, not for her to forgive you, not for anything but for her. If she thanks you, great if not great,so what,they are for her. It doesn't matter if she throws them out because they are for HER. In fact if she did throw them out and you went and bought her more the next day that would good. Flowers shouldn't be for you to feel good about getting them for her. If they are given with any other reason than because you know she likes them then frankly they are seen as an empty and easy fix. (don't stop giving them though:)) Counseling is however not empty and easy. It not only help you but it SHOWS her that you care. Stop drinking if you do. Really! Even if you don't think you have a problem. If she asks why tell her because it's can only help our relationship. Again it took you years to mess it up and it take time to repair. You should look at your marriage as helping your therapy and not the reverse because your marriage is just a part of your life that needs working on just like the rest. Also buy a punching bag and a video camera. Video yourself acting like an a-hole to the woman you and you'll really what she sees. tell her that you want her to video you acting in ways that frighten you. If she won't, force yourself to set-up a video with a tri-pod and hit play. (I think you'll that you calm down quickly if you know that you are being filmed.) Anger comes from lack of control. You don't WANT to control her. You want to appreciate her and experience her being herself. If she's not doing something the way you want it to be done, just do it yourself. Once she sees that you aren't being controlling she'll WANT to work together. And again it take time- lots of time but you'll both like the person you've become. take it to heart. Kelso ga sex clubThe day I threw away fashion When she hit 60 Lurie realised that fashion no longer spoke to her. So she got rid of half her wardrobe, stopped colouring her hair, gave up wearing makeup and felt euphoric * Lurie * The Guardian, Wednesday 15 after I reached 60 I was abandoned by Vogue magazine and all its clones. Like former lovers who drop you slowly and politely because they once cared for you, they gradually stopped speaking to me. Without intending it I had permanently alienated them, simply by becoming old. From their point of view, I was now a hopeless case. They were not going to show me any more pictures of clothes I might look good in, or give me useful advice about makeup or hair. At first my feelings were hurt. Hadn't I loved fashion and been faithful to her all these years? Just as one avoids the songs that re a lost lover, I stopped reading her magazines, even in a doctor's office. As a result, I felt first panic and then a rush of euphoria. I was abandoned and alone, yes, but I was also free: after more than 60 years, nobody was telling me what to wear. Since fashion no longer pursued and flattered and scolded me, I realised that I did not have to pursue her. I could go through my closet and get rid of all the stylish clothes I really didn't like: the fitted jackets, the cropped pants that left six inches of pale stubbled leg hanging out, the silk dress-for-success blouses with floppy bows and padded shoulders. I also gave away everything too obviously "sexy" that is, shiny and low-cut and tight and uncomfortable. I hadn't worn these outfits for years, essentially because I didn't want to look as if I were hopelessly trying to inflame passion in members of the opposite sex. What was even better was that I could revive clothes I had loved in the past and hadn't been able to bear to throw away, though they had become completely out of date. The patchwork hippie skirts and vests, the filmy scarves and big soft shawls, the loose cowl-neck sweaters, the floppy straw hats, some with feathers or artificial flowers. Some of these things were so far out of date that they looked new, and if they didn't, I didn't care. chat dating
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