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need your big python I should admit I have two fake lamps. But they are weird ones I bought at a shop in Chinatown and might be considered fake Chinoiserie. One has chain links depicted in the stained glass and the other one has weird little and dragons. The only person who hasn't been horrified by them but totally loved them was my best friend and his last apartment was decorated with the themes of panthers, taxidermy and gold lame. Which makes it all the harder for me to follow the first rule of bisexuality: make an effort not to fuck all your friends.
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