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Well, clearly were offended. None of the posts were free of attack other than that from VeganWoman. So to VeganWoman.. thanks for having an open mind about my post. It was very late at night, I was in a very bleh mood, have no idea why I posted it.. guess I was hoping for a few people would feel the same way as I do and could relate and then I guess in some way I would not feel so alone and would feel hopeful. Clearly that didn't work out, lol. That's what you get for making impulsive communications at 4 in the morning. In general regarding my 'high standards', I don't feel my standards are so high because I want to date a woman who has at least a bachelors degree, is generally attractive, isn't a cheater, isn't sloppy, is classy, has feminine qualities that I find attractive and yet is more of a leader in a relationship. That's just it. Now in my opinion, having ridiculous standards would be to say something like I want to date only women who wear designer clothes, make at least X amount of money, have blonde hair, are at least x height, have legs, or whatever. More than likely it's the way I phrased my posting that made it sound like I had these ridiculous expectations, which I really don't think I do. But then again, I suppose time tell. I don't out at bars I've been to Steel Blue once. So whoever took that away from my message misread who I am. And I am, believe it or not, not a superficial person compared to the average woman. Anyway, there's no reason for me to defend myself or explain myself because I'm certain that no matter what I say at this point it's not going to change how people perceive where I am coming from. So, I'll just chalk this up to a silly late night whim that ended up in being misunderstood by a group of strangers. I meant no offense to anyone. I myself enjoy women so I was not criticizing and I do appreciate people for who they are on the inside I also feel that certain ways in which a person conducts their lives and presents themselves on the outside communicates certain things about the person on the inside. I want to be swept away in, don't we all? I just happen to have personal feelings on what kinds of characteristics I need in a woman in order to fall in. Maybe that change, maybe it won't. free moss Oita pussyFor one thing, I have to be upfront and tell you that I do not believe in "self-esteem". Or, rather, I think the term has been misused to the point where it's hard to recognize. I think gelg is correct, in that self-esteem is more a matter of in one's own competency and assurance that one is capable of solving the problems that life throws at you. How does one develop that sense of competency and assurance? By doing it over and over and over again. By failing, sometimes, and realizing that you can pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and get moving again after a disappointment either being fired, losing a relationship, not achieving a goal, etc. EVERYONE fails at some point in life, and it's what we learn from those failures that help us succeed in future endeavors. And here's the problem: There's a whole generation of whose parents brought them up afraid to allow them to fail, because they were afraid that it would "damage their self esteem." What we're now seeing is the result of that well-meaning but misguided notion people grew up under a false series of life "successes" where they were constantly told how wonderful they were. You know the philosophy: No one is allowed to lose, that's why everyone gets a trophy. Their ability to figure out ways around obstacles was never challenged, and when they finally DO face some kind of failure, they fall apart. Then there's the aspect of being inner-driven, rather than outwardly-driven. Outwardly-driven people spend a great deal of time worrying about what other people think about them, and trying to gain the approval of others even if that so-ed "approval" is fleeting or superficial, and sometimes, not even good for the person (.,). How can anyone have 'self' confidence when everything they do, think or feel is dictated by others? There is no sense of "self" they simply become mirrors. There's more but that's the basics. match making dating
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