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Thanks for sharing! However, I do not share your view. I do indeed have boundaries when it comes to polyamory and especially when it comes to sex. I've known the MP couple for 10 years, had the pleasure of watching them fall in, and the honor of officiating their wedding. Despite countless opportunities to be sexual with them, I hadn't reached a level of intimacy with them that allowed me to comfortably cross that boundary until a couple years ago. While talking with them last night about all this, I was happy to discover that their boundaries indeed match mine: in that we don't want to date each other, but want to continue a loving friendship which include a sexual expression of that if/when the mood strikes us. I've known DK for two years, and it wasn't until I felt that these swingers matched our to express our friendly for each other in a sexual way on occassion that I invited them to experience that with us. Yes, we definitely had a lot of fun while having group sex together, but that was only possible precisely because of the friendly we all share for each other. In my opinion that is a very good definitely of polyamory, or at least of a friendship-with-benefits relationship, rather than as a type of relationship with little or no emotional attachment like swinging, fuck-buddies or polyfuckery. looking for the black female on kershaw streetwould not be a desired state for her??? Simply different approaches, but still highly entertaining and boundary pushing. (I also envisioned a male sub where as you envisioned TC.) (I like humiliation play and mind fuckery.) horny male wants for horny women
couldnt stop staring at you at forest sex today Dear compassionate one, Please never disregard your gut feelings about a person and/or situation. Disregarding our intuition usually lands us in a mess or in danger. You are obviously very wise and mature to pick up on these red flags. They are definitely not in your imagination. Your "friend" is obviously operating from a state of fear. Fear promotes irrational and neurotic thoughts and behaviors. He be suffering from some degree of post-traumatic stress syndrome, but would have to a professional for a diagnosis. It is not wrong, weak, or unhealthy for you to feel compassion for him for his losses and his current state of pain. However, as any professional counselor tell you, all your and compassion won't fix him. It is natural to be attracted to his positive attributes. But from the obsessive/compulsive behaviors he's demonstrated in such a very short period of time, his unhealthy side would dominate the relationship. His need to make it official so is an indication that he is not operating from a place a strength. He is making the very common mistake that of us often do by jumping back into a relationship to heal the wounds and fill the emptiness of the one(s) that previously ended. I one thing that you learned from this is that if something does not "feel" right, there is usually a valid reason. I have one important word for you boundaries! You compromised your boundaries in the beginning by giving in to his pressure for a commitment too. You recovered by re-establishing your boundaries by declaring that you not open your life to a person who does not respect your time, personal space, etc But do you how you felt bad for establishing that boundary with him.? There is a great book titled "Boundaries" by Cloud and Townsend that you find very insightful. I think anyone would benefit from reading that book. Boundaries can be tricky, but stick to your instincts. It's understandable that you his good side, but please don't trick yourself into thinking that you can somehow have the side without the weight and toll of the unhealthy. Perhaps you could find peace in praying for him.? Be intentional and determined to meet a guy who has his wonderful qualities. Please don't settle! Best wishes to you!
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