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He should believe you because you are talking about your feelings. He should KNOW that he cannot force relationships. You don't need to PROVE anything to him. I get what you're doing but the more you write, the more I shake my head. You are creating an artifical reality that won't stand the test of time. I would NOT base my marriage on me being forced to do something that is pointless and wrong just so someone is happy. There's a difference between doing something to make your spouse happy and playing into spouses bullshit. IMO. My husband likes me to attend functions. I do it even though 90% of the time I'd rather not. I just don't that kind of thing as what your husband wants out of you. I think it's very sad that's he's so happy about something so artificial. There is no substance with him, it's the act, the show and not at all about the reality. I certainly wouldn't cater to someone who was using me to relieve his guilt. Counseling should spend a good deal of time making sure he owns his issues and is prepared to deal with them. Not playing this stupid pretend game. But my marriage is not yours. I wouldn't tolerate what yoru husband does, tolerate his mother or anything you've described. If I was you, I'd be walking. Seriously, this is no way to live. Basing your marital happiness on two dictated phone s to someone who you don't even like twice a week, that's just bullshit. And the house of cards come falling down one day. I don't have anything left to say that's supportive of you going along with this. It's not the phone s, it's your husband's denial and putting the burden on you. rate my penis 3
In order to seriously broach this subject, you're going to have to tell him about the monitoring software, and he is going to be royally pissed and try to make the argument about that. On the other hand, I can say that porn viewing, like any other addiction you can name (alcohol, gambling, shopping, phone sex, World of Warcraft, even web-surfing), if carried to excess, damages a marriage or LTR by taking time and energy away from the union: the more compulsive and the more time, the worse it gets. He needs to realize that his viewing is getting seriously compulsive and is not in his own best interests, let alone yours. Also, that it's not really any different in the run than alcoholism or what-have you, in its negative effect on his life and marriage. But how exactly you're going to bring that up tactfully without his hitting the roof and denying or defending the porn as harmless is a head-scratcher. Maybe e up one of those checklists for determining whether you're addicted to porn, and have him read it? Emphasize it's not about depriving him of enjoyment, even porn a few days a week, but about getting it back more into proportion to the rest of his life and enjoyments. ft Ellon married man wants playmateThat's the first step. I watched a good friend go through this with his wife ..it was hard on her, but even harder on him and the. They wanted so much to help her, but it was really up to her. Very frustrating and sad not to be able to make them happy. Please follow the advice above and get counseling for yourself as well it's a huge drain emotionally dealing with someone like this, and it ultimately help her as well. Peace to you - amateur dating
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