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beating ourselves up for someone elses shitty behavior. I'm sorry you are sad, what has happened sucks. I have my own issues with my own family of origin so I get the push/pull of the situation. Bottom line is they cause more negative than positive emotion at this point in time, so it is probably best to distance yourself. I dont know if I'd go so far as to say I'd never speak to them again, but give yourself a break and get some perspective. You can't manage what they or wont do, but you can manage yourself and what you put out there and what you expect. don't expect them to be any different than they are. It is not your fault that they are who they are. Step away, take a break, grieve and move forward. KNOW not to put yourself in this position again by helping or by getting someone to make an agreement you know in advance they probably won't keep. Go take a walk and chill. Quit beating yourself up for someone elses shitty behavior. boss lady needs a sub manI heard a lot of that nonsense from my partner as well. It was a defense mechanism due to her own shame and embarrassment. Please don't buy into it. You can't begin to deal with it until every one is being honest without attacking. and I felt for myself and for you that it is just not fair to treat someone as a friend but expect them to stay committed as a lover. It does not allow you to be a whole person in the relationship and it does not allow you to move on and find fulfillment where, and I don't just mean sexually, anytime you cut off a part of yourself your not whole. I also agree that some sort of trauma is likely but until everyone is communicating honestly compassionately and responsibly no change is possible and no change is not an option. sex black girl
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