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It takes a really strong person to work through a relationship where one person has experienced such trauma. In my experience, I had to learn the hard way that not everyone is understanding or even wants to know that rape exists. For example, after I was raped my grandmother disowned me. I was 17. To this day, we never ever talk about it. She personally could not cope with being around me, knowing what was done to me. Couldn't do it. I had one conversation with my ex about it, explaining that I was still dealing with it, and any time I would feel the need to talk, he would say that he would rather not talk about it. I struggled early on in that relationship with body memories, depression, and PTSD. Once I stopped pretending like everything was fine and that it didn't matter, I began to heal. I sought help and really worked on myself. My husband had what is probably the best response I've ever had in my life "I'm so sorry that happened to you, I can't imagine what that was like. Just tell me what I can do to help." Something so simple made the weight of it all just slide away. So, I now know that I can only that people are understanding, I simply can't expect it. It takes an incredibly strong person to heal from the trauma, and strong people to provide support for that person as well. It can take years for a person to recover, sometimes a lifetime. That's a hard path to ask anyone to travel with you, and it's important to recognize that not everyone can come back from the pain. I think that you were a really good person for wanting to understand and try to work things out with your ex. That's speaks a great deal about your character. The OP has very skewed perceptions and needs to seriously consider getting professional help. horny White Plains ohio
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