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I appear to be nothing but the provider now and just work. Is that an accurate definition of what you are? Your life is about provision and work? Yes, they are important but hardly anything to get overly excited about. Gonna tell you about one of my regrets. don't fault myself too hard because I take responsibility seriously. I do give a rip about making sure I have stuff like good credit, a home, work hard, integrity. I need to or I don't feel good about myself, have a sense of pride about it too. but . After my divorce to my first wife and we had a similar problem though we never went to the separate bed phase it ended before that. I had the to evaluate and reflect. I have to admit, though I am a nice guy, a 'good' with a sense of adventure I wasn't really that fun. Oh once single shit I was a BLAST. Hell take away the responsibility of maintaining a marriage and the goal of providing a great retirement for two - was I a fun guy!! Drop it all on an impulse, fly off to some place because it was what I wanted. Dance like I don't care, tell people what I'm feeling, let them know I them I work hard but I also work hard on not losing that, never again. I practice it and fuse it into my life no it's not , I have shitty days but I don't let them last. It's the old saying if I would have known then what I know now? But who's to say I would have EVER known without having it all blow up? Life would have been more fun I can tell you that. There's no excuse for that and I had some hard shit come down but I still do, that never stop. Life don't work that way. So here you are trying to figure out how to change your wife and you've TALKED. Fuck it, you've talked and now why don't you start acting? Go out and seize the day. She comes along or doesn't but speak your mind. You want her to? Let her know, you want to have a good marriage? SAY IT and BE WHO YOU WOULD BE IN IT!!! Sure there might not be some fucking for a while, but you could be a loving, fun guy who scoops his wife up and says you, me, this weekend going to something she enjoys. Like you'd do if you were single. Remember that? Or bitch, moan and write a handle that says overanddone..yeah that shows a willingness to change free pussy in Canton Ohiovisiting family in this part of the country I recently met this girl whos sending me vibes shes queer and interested. shes super sweet, understanding, helpful, smart, beautiful, etc. Here's the complicated part: she has a 3 yr. old, single mom, the dad is involved in the life (helps some), in college full time, works one job that i know of! she said today "shes always overloaded" I really dig, hanging out and playing cuz to play and so do i. The first time i met her is the only time i've seen her. it was at her work and we talked for like 25 mins. or so. talked to her 2day on the phone. she was awesome, i invited her to go this cool event 2morrow night but she said she can't b/c of her kid. i understand that. its a whole diff. life than a single womyn w/ no. she wants me to come over sometime. my last partner seemed "Together" when i met her. she owned a house in the most expensive part of the US where we both lived, etc she hid it from me for about 2 weeks when we started hanging out, then i find out she has 4 jobs, gets up at 4am for her first job, gets home abt. 6pm from the last job (a painter who made $60/hr. her own business) BUT she had shitloads of Debt. Owed like $ , on her mortgage and credit cards. she'd complain that she had no money to spend it all went to bills. those are 2 examples african women
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