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First of all, ask yourself a few questions, because you are dealing with a main triangle of people here, plus extended family members. Ask yourself if this relationship means enough to you that you cannot imagine living your life without this person. If the answer is no, that would be the easiest scenario, just sit your fiancee down and tell him you feel like a third wheel and that he obviously has unfinished business with the ex, and that there's more to it than the -'s well being involved, and that you are quietly stepping out of the picture so they can be one big, happy, disfunctional family! Then walk away, don't look back and get sucked in, and make a fresh start for yourself. If, on the other hand, the answer to your question is YES, YES, YES!! then get your big girl pants on, cuz your're gonna have to become one strong woman and stick to your guns about things. The first thing you do is sit your fiance down and tell him exactly were you are coming from and what you expect of him. Tell him that you understand his need to keep some sort of family structure in place for his -'s sake, but by treating his ex more like his wife, you feel undermined and left out, partly because of all the years of familiarity and partly because women are and his ex obviously still wants her place of honor in the family, a place that should be YOURS at this point. It's fine if she wants to be at partys, etc., but your husband has NO RIGHT expecting you to like her, talk to her, or have squat to do with her in any way, shape, or form, and that you would appreciate it if he would have a conversation with her and put her in her place, along with his mother. Then stand proudly by his side, smile, be hospitable, and be the best step mom around, but make sure that your fiance's attention is always on you % aside from the, when the ex is around. Be obvious about the fact that he is your at this point and she is just a drone delivering the back and forth, basiy invisible to you, understand? Get busy and make your family time shine, draw those in, on them, be yourself, and be successful, don't let anyone get in your way. If, after all this is said and done, and your fiance doesn't step up, leave him anyway. You be far better of and suffer far less in the end. weathered Caldes de Malavella womenI've lived in several places around the country. I've always ed it the closing-time syndrome, and it starts before closing time. First off, let me say that I am well over one hundred years old, weigh two tons and have greenish hairs growing out of the pimples on my face. Just thought I'd get that out of the way before the Kew Sisters get here. So, it's always been my experience that guys are hotter looking than girls (!!), also more ego-driven and sex-motivated. This combination always seems to lead to that less than friendly vibe in the scene. Sure, smiling is a good approach here or anywhere. But so guys seem to be on the prowl for more than friendly expression. They're always rating themselves against the situation. Okay I've noticed your interest, but I think I might be hot enough to attract someone better than you before closing time. This continues throughout the evening until closing time. By then, the hotties who found each other worthy have left, and the joint is full of lonely people with their hands in their pockets, all wondering why everyone in this town is so unfriendly. Then the parks and the baths and the back alleys get busy Yeah okay, when I was younger and hotter, I'm afraid I was guilty of this behavior on occasion. Also, I re a couple of times getting to know one of those standoffish bar hotties, and always getting the same sad story: "Gosh I'm not unfriendly! I was just hoping someone would smile and approach me, I'm so shy." Not sure if I entirely believe that. Interestingly, I found the friendliest scene to be in Philadelphia PA. The city of brotherly. Not sure if it's still that way today, as I'm certain this was before any of you were born. wasn't cracked yet. hot girl
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