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seeking older woman for friendship and more my system. Pardon the venting here. Not obsesessed with it, but it is bothering me a little kinda like a little buzzing flying insect that comes and goes. Sometime back I mentioned that I had 2 possibilities for romance. One woman who flirted with me and I mean flirted, no ambiguity, you'd have to be lobotomized or dead not to it I'm quite certain she was not "just being friendly" but really flirting, turned me down when I asked her out after she flirted. The second one is kinda butch or androgenous as she s herself, and is attracted only to butches she has "A type" (singular) and I'm not it, though we get along quite well and have become somewhat of confidants. I'm somewhere between sporty-femme and plummer-femme I think (it's all a little subjective), she's not attracted to me from what I gather. I have been going out and meeting more people just last night I went with a group of lesbian/bi women to "Beginnings" so it's not like I'm mopping over either one of these women, as a matter of fact when I asked the first one out and she very politly blew me off, I was releived "now I know, move on next" was my reaction. I was glad it happened right away when I was just a little attracted to her as opposed to spending time developing a huge crush that goes nowhere. NOT looking for advice. Just venting my little dissapointment that neither of these are going to work out.
the beautiful dirty blonde in stripes on kermit First, in response to jrhlunch's original question: Yes, there are a lot of guys who get more turned on by getting the other guy off. Which brings me to jay_c_bird's question: Some guys have difficulty getting off during sex because they have to be stimulated in just a certain way. (It's probably the exact way they masturbate.) Some guys might make weird faces or noises when they get off and just don't want to do it around someone. But just because a guy doesn't get off or even get hard doesn't mean he's not into it. Some guys can be really turned on but won't (or maybe can't) do anything until they're alone thinking about it. The fact that he got hard when you two first got together might have to do with the aspect of it being new which is a real turn on for some guys. (For other guys newness might actually cause a lot of anxiety.) But maybe it really has something to do with the relationship. If you like the guy you should definitely discuss it. If he's happy but just can't get off with someone around find out what's going to be a turn on for him when he's thinking about you later. But ultimately if your sex life isn't satisfying for you you're going to need to address that.
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