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- Humor Paddy was driving down the street in a sweat because he had an important meeting and couldn't find a parking place. Looking up to heaven he said, "Lord take pity on me. If you find me a parking place I go to Mass every for the rest of me life and give up me Whiskey". Miraculously, a parking place appeared. Paddy looked up again and said, "Never mind, I found one." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Father walks into a pub in Donegal, and says to the first he meets, "Do you want to go to heaven?" The said, "I do Father." The priest said, "Then stand over there against the wall." Then the priest asked the second, "Do you want to go to heaven?" "Certainly, Father," was the -'s reply. "Then stand over there against the wall," said the priest. Then Father walked up to O'Toole and said, "Do you want to go to heaven? O'Toole said, "No, I don't Father. The priest said, "I don't believe this. You mean to tell me that when you die you don't want to go to heaven?" O'Toole said, "Oh, when I die, yes. I thought you were getting a group together to go right now." +++++++ Paddy was in New York He was patiently waiting, and watching the traffic cop on a busy street crossing. The cop stopped the flow of traffic and shouted, "Okay pedestrians". Then he'd allow the traffic to pass. He'd done this several times, and Paddy still stood on the sidewalk. After the cop had shouted "Pedestrians" for the tenth time, Paddy went over to him and said, "Is it not about time ye let the Catholics across?" +++++++++ Gallagher opened the morning newspaper and was dumbfounded to read in the obituary column that he had died. He quickly phoned his best friend Finney. "Did you the paper?" asked Gallagher. "They say I died!!" "Yes, I saw it!" replied Finney. "Where are ye in' from?" phone sex Clearfield South Dakota SD
Caught on Tape: Bush Admits WMD Were Irrelevant On day that the United States invaded, President Bush said that we were doing so “reluctantly” but that “our purpose was clear” — to get rid of Saddam’s “weapons of mass murder.” (Note: Bush did not say “purposes.” According to Bush, there was only one purpose.) Yesterday on Brit Hume, he said he would have invaded even if he knew there were no weapons of mass destruction. Would have been nice if he’d mentioned this earlier. Full Transcript: /05: BUSH: I said I made the right decision. Knowing what I know today, I would have still made that decision. HUME: So, if you had had this — if the weapons had been out of the equation because the intelligence did not conclude that he had them, it was still the right ? BUSH: Absolutely. /03: "Our nation enters this conflict reluctantly — yet, our purpose is sure. The people of the United States and our friends and allies not live at the of an outlaw regime that threatens the peace with weapons of mass murder". local amateur womens lookin for tonightSTUDY FINDS WOMEN WHO DRINK WAY MORE FUN TO STUDY Researchers Say Alcohol Affects Women's Blood Pressure, Researchers' Interest Cambridge, Mass. ( ) Update — According to a new study on female alcohol use and blood pressure, women who consume two or alcoholic drinks a week are much more fun to do research on than women who do not consume alcohol. This woman reduced her risk of high blood pressure, and increased her interest among researchers, just by consuming a few drinks. Oh, and the report also found that women who have a few drinks each week are less likely to develop high blood pressure. Whatever. The report, published in the Archives of Internal Medicine, studied drinking patterns and blood pressure among 70, nurses between the ages of 25 and 42. Dr. Shinauer, who headed the study for Harvard's School of Public Health, put the findings in perspective. "Alcohol, 70, nurses, and us," he said. "Is that cool or what?" Shinauer and his colleagues — Dr. Sporata and Dr. Palava — conceded their initial was to study salt consumption. However, upon reflection, the trio decided that adjusting the parameters would dramatiy heighten their interest in the research. Explained Palava: "What it came down to was, did we want to say, 'Here, have some salt and let's what happens,' or, 'Here, have a drink and let's what happens.'" RECOMMEND THIS Copyright © , SatireWire. chat line
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