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Well. We just finally fucking decided yesterday, so. It's new news. I can wear a gown at the courthouse with two witnesses. I'm happy to pay for a hall and Mexican food catering on another day so all the families can gather to annoy each other and humiliate me. But "real weddings" like someone had in mind cost a LOT of money that already be spent on holiday gifts and a ring or saved for the kid. I just want to be practical, yet have my modest dream come true. Without fifty fucking cousins I'm not yet related to in any way eating on my dime. in a room alone tonight i need some female companywe have no session next weekend, holiday, so it's closed. My feelings more are, this is what I've been dealing with for 15 years, plus other things and then of course the dysfunction I've contributed. and I do him but I just don't feel "in -" with him. I'm so afraid of being alone sometimes. I've been with him since I'm 17 so it's all I know. I'm worried about my, worries about standing on my own two feet. but it's also unfair for me to hold onto him for these reasons as well and they are the reasons why I stay. I do plan on talking about this at the next session, I just hate waiting two weeks to do so and of course he's all apologies but I'm just tired of it and tired of the sorries just t obe right back here again in a few days time . I know marriage is hard, been at it for 15 years But now at 33 I realize the importance of growing as a person, we went from t obeing adults overnight, it's really affected me and I feel badly for admitting it but my feelings have changed for him and I don't know if I'll ever get it back . free online sex chat rooms
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