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"However, one person has informed me that the therapist's job is to let the patient become in whatever way the patient thinks is. So, on the one hand, it would seem that there is no external or universal standard of, that it is % relative. But at the same time another person has said that there are known best practices, another one said that there are people they personally would not because they could not give them neutral advice, another said that it was wise to have lots of options since people are different and "fit" matters in the relationship." So the patient comes to a therapist and says, "I am always spending all my money when I don't need to and I'm in debt and I don't know how to change this, but I want to." Now we have the goal of the patient. The patient's idea of "-" in this situation sounds like she wants to function inside her budget but doesn't. So she and her therapist explore that her behaviors behind it, her feelings behind the behaviors, etc. She come to the realization that she shops for things to make herself feel special so they try to come up with other ways to fill that space without spending her money. (Notice in no part of the is the therapist's feelings, judgments or even thoughts on the issue have any relevance to this process.) I'd the the run of the mill talk therapy. the terms "therapist" and "counselor" are often interchanged often incorrectly. Most often a "counselor" is not a licensed therapist, but a "therapist" or "clinician" is. It is the latter that most likely be following the best practices for a mental health therapist. Regarding "fit": therapy *is* a messy science because personalities are involved. So I not feel comfortable with a therapist who has a certain style or personality. Even though they act within the same set of guidelines personality leaks through. And styles. Within the practice I worked for one therapist's office had incense burning and big cushy chairs and cushions on the floor and another had a desk with two hard chairs facing directly at one another. Or within talk therapies psychoanalysis might annoy some (exploring one's childhood/formative years) or cognitive behavioral therapy might feel impersonal. free North Stonington fuckIt's funny because every time she brought me sorrow , I brushed it aside excusing it. That's the way you it when you're in it for the haul. I was having thoughts of wanting to die first because I'd her too much , as corny as it sounds. At 7+ years we weren't legally married , but I would've treated her no differently. I was truthful loyal. We never fought or argued. Then she blows up about something I said 5 years ago , I guess I hurt her feelings and she never forgave me. I told her that putting up flyers isn't the same as having a job. So what ? It's not ! It's not like I think any less of her because she doesn't make $$. I think she'd feel better about herself , but you know what ? I couldn't care much less about net worth (probably because I'm poor , ha). I had a hard time wrapping my head around her mom telling me she didn't feel supported when there's nothing I wouldn't do for her. I wonder if a person who doesn't work , who's never had a job , can truly appreciate a spouse that's a hard worker ? I paid for everything and was generous , but everything I did to try and show she was special didn't register that grudge she held all those years ago destroyed whatever affection she had towards me , so that she much hates my guts. What can you do about someone who complains about how miserable they are , but doesn't do anything to change it ? Out of the blue she says she can't do it anymore it's over and she never wants to me again. married woman wants married man
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