Heart in Hand The world is a cold place
And with my swarthy countenance I'm reminder of my place
A disgraced face, like I had a choice of race
But that's not my plight these days
Finding and keeping a soul mate
Keeps me in a depressive state
I've tried all races, and ethnicities of late
Some small and some very big in the waist
Maybe somebody should tell me I'm ugly, its not too late
They all leave my place, stating we could never date
Maybe because of the speed at which I ejaculate
Maybe its my attitude towards women, some say its hate
I swear I just want one for the rest of my days
I swear I can be a lot better than some who leave the stadium after making it to homeplate
My heart is as big as this state
My soul is Tom Hanks on an island desperately wishing to escape
I see other couples and contemplate
Why can't that be me? I'm safe. I'm hopeful. I'm funny. I don't discriminate
How do you find the one when you can't even get a few dates
This isn't my pity party, its the revealing of my fate
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I feel like he lied to me. Betrayed me. I am afarid when their relationship doesnt work out he be coming back to me. Drop the BS..because its the truth. He lied to me. He betrayed me. When their relationship doesn't work out he be coming back to me. Those aren't feelings. Those are facts and you have to accept them well ok one is a ball but the 'I fucked up and can't we fix this' is so damn common it might as well be. I'd also change your handle he's no longer the 'one you trust' and there is only one reason to take him back you have no self worth and right about now that's probably accurate. don't. That self worth only come from doing what needs to be done inspite of this ripped up heart. Its time for ICE BITCH mode..I know you hurt, I know its hard but so damn what. You're not the first person who's been shit on and you won't be the last. Shut it down..there's work to do. Fuck this guy..its time you took care of yourself. That means you're going to protect your credit, it means you're going to file for divorce, it means you're going to rebuild. and nervous is part of the game but lets not confuse things when you don't need to. Simplify what needs to be done to get this over with? DO IT. Do it regardless of how much you want to crawl in a hole get after it. List assets/debts, freeze credit and for shit's sake FILE. Bring the down and when he shits a brick..give him NOTHING..zero, no emotions..no anger, no tears, just stick to the business at hand. THAT is the plan and you better have it. The home part is up to you % up to you. But first order of business is to get free of this. Its a fucked up shitty thing but you gotta dive in you through it even when it gets deeper. and it. It won't be good for a while..there's no pill for this shit but if you stick to it, you'll find life can actually be better after a nuke like this MUCH better. Good luck..and how about, dumpingthefuck, that's a catchy handle. any plans tonight like now 5
I feel your pain. And just like all the other ladies here said, it's a human thing, but it's a girl thing too. We're not socialized to be as. The reason you're getting hit on by men has nothing to do with what you look like. They'll hit on anything that moves! It's rough being a femme chick too, cuz you look straight so not only do girls not know that you'd desperately like them to hit on you but you're also not even welcome at the usual lesbian outs! I get the evil eye anytime I try to even walk into a lesbian bar unless I'm vouched for by a butch. Try meeting girls when you don't even look remotely queer. And believe me I've already cut off all my hair and dyed it purple so that's not helping. Anyways, I'm 24 and trying to make myself obvious in the queer community. I'm doing exactly what the other women have said, I'm getting involved. Organizations are not going to turn down volunteers, especially Queer non-profs. I've joined a local queer writing class, been a part of the local business association, volunteered for a bunch of other events. The point is, just show up. Go to Pride, check out the booths what interests you and ask if they need volunteers or how you could get involved. Find your talent or passion, are you into? Sports? Kareoke? figure it out and trust me there's a one out there. Then just show up. You'll make friends, maybe not quickly but it happen. Also, another great way to meet people; volunteer to mentor a queer youth. It's rewarding and trust me when you drop that line all the girls be lining up to out with you. It makes you a deeper person and it shows your commitment to the community and humanity in general. There is no one out there worth their salt who would not think you are an amazing person for spending your time mentoring people, especially queer ones. They need it. And they might remind you about what you have to offer as a wounderful and inspiring individual. Working with reminds me what I about myself and it help you remember what you about you. And those are the same things that other people about you too. If you think you don't have time to do any of the above, trust me you do. I do it working 3-4 jobs and trying to finish school. Easy? No. Worth it? Absolutely. Try it, you might like it. anr relationship 69145again I left my career to dedicate myself to HIS business for years and that became my world. Now, I have to go back to my old career with a huge gap in my resume that looks odd, and can I use HIM as a REFERENCE? NO!!! He is really crazy and he cannot be trusted for what might come out of his mouth. Very difficult to return to my old career. Plus my career was extremely stressful to begin with and don't want to go back. Now I am trying to find a new career. Also, I am no longer part of our Business World and have no more people contact that I once had He is a huge trouble maker and I didn't want to get involved with the "he said, she said" nonsense, so I just let him on to all our business associates and "friends" even though they all respected me more. He always did strange things between people and kept everyone isolated from each other anyways. But I always managed to keep a low level of "kinship" around me and I still abandoned everyone because he was acting so crazy and I disassociated myself from it. He even took over a few of my original friends (that I had before I even knew him, via lies and manipulations and control tactics. So, I just quietly walked away from them too these other people should have know better to get involved with his nonsense. So, I am not in a new city like you, but know what you are going through. I focus on keeping myself and my pets good diet, hiking with and doing outdoor activities with my dogs; activities that are enjoyable/-/relaxing yoga for stress girls want sex
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