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The negativity is also based in concern. The reality is you be hard pressed to find people who fit into your ideal world who not bring a lot of other psychological issues to the table. Rejecting society is 'usually' due to a trauma of some sort in my experience. Your parents having been unhappy through their marriage was something I suspected. The idea of a commune can be different for different people. More so than the idea of marriage for example. Traditional marriage only involves 2 people, where as your commune could be any number of people. Most here are having enough trouble reconciling their desires with the person they're with and reel at the thought of having to do that with multiple people, I think. The negativity about the is due to concern as well. None of them want your to grow up confused and unable to integrate into society. Though I'm not sure how I feel about that particular view point. I suppose it depends how much socialization the kid would have with societal normals and how much freedom he or she have to make their own choices in that regard. I grew up in an unconventional environment caught between two very different cultures, religious motivations, and values. It was far more "normal" than what you're describing but I still have a really hard time feeling like I belong anywhere. I still have to stretch myself far to understand where other people are coming from and feeling safe or understood by them. My fear for the kid runs along those lines as well as the legal ramifications. Then there's the concern that you want this really badly but you're the only one of your group who ACTUALLY wants it. Which means disappointment for you if the rest of your group decides they don't want it. Do you have a backup plan? Sphynx is right that there's a lot of changes that go on between 18 and 30. I'm 27 right now and while there's still elements for that idealist communist in me, I'm a very very different person. I want you to be happy. nake Modena womenpaper" by any stretch of the imagination. Not everyone wants marriage, and that's perfectly valid. Some of my best friends have been together for 20 years, living together for 15 of them, partners in every sense of the word, loving, respectful, etc. That is what I would term "married without the paper." You sound like the domestic help, quite honestly. I haven't lived in your house, so maybe he is Charming who dotes on you and is very loving in action, but when I read your post as an outside observer, here's what I -: -Guy 10 years older than you -Moves you in to live with him after 2 weeks of dating -You are given the duty of taking care of his, which is not your responsibility at all. I absolutely for your sake that he is just shy and trying to get the words out, but PLEASE be careful in the future not to mistake "I like having this cute younger girl around for convenient sex and free childcare while not making any commitments" as being as good as married and commitment. looking for discreet
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