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Its the relationship mentality that either works with or against rewards. Making someone feel special because they in turn have made you feel special is not so much a reward in my mind. Withholding sex unless someone does something for you is a manipulation sort of reward. Team work versus control. He helps me, I help him, we have a team. I do something for him because I want something out of him is manipulation and/or control. Sex is not meant as a manipulation tool, and for those who use it this way is just asking for a failed relationship with a great deal of hurt. Sex is an expression of before it is an outlet for stress. In very generalized terms Women need to express themselves openly and sexually; men need sex to open and express themselves to feel loved. Hopefully I have explained my stance better. I never withheld satisfaction from my ex until I felt he was using me. Then I turned frigid after 10 years marraige. When the give and take was all give (my part) and all take (his part), the died, the respect disappeared, and the relationship ended. Within a month after leaving him, the frigidity went away, and that was how I knew I was not dead.
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