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After my daughter was born, my husband became very uninterested in sex. In ten years or less, it dropped down to a couple of times per year. He would not seek a physician's help or a therapist, and he disliked doing other things for me, so I disliked him doing those other things (martrys suck). I slowly lost a lot of weight, changed my hair, bought sexier clothes, trying in vain to arouse him, but nothing. It was FRUSTRATING. It was INSULTING. It made me feel very much like he was my brother, not my lover, and that I was being denied something that was my right. And I knew he was not cheating on me because there was no opportunity, and beside, he was the type to boast and I would have found out. By the time my daughter was about twelve, I started having secret sexual relations. I didn't want to rub his nose in it and didn't want to kick my daughter's father out. But of course, the marriage died before this. It was the only way to tolerate being in the marriage at all. So, I gave up. We didn't even sleep in the same bed. His various health issues, of which impotency was a factor, did kill him about 5 years ago. If he had taken care of these issues, maybe he'd still be alive and we'd still have a sex life. But I doubt it, since he had to have it all his way. madalyn Ringgold slutAnd other people's proclivities. The fact that people have to denigrate someone -'s sexual enjoyment (whether it be "vanilla" or otherwise) says a lot about them. Namely immaturity and a lack of experience on their part. Some people just don't explore themselves, and that's really sad to me. The one person we have in life at all times is ourself. Shouldn't we be attempting to know as much as we can about ourselves so we can be happier and get through life somewhat intact? And for people whose fetishes/etc are really important to them, that kind of transparency almost seems integral to their self esteem and emotional health. They're probably sitting around asking "What the HELL is wrong with me that I'm attracted to my CAR?! Please, someone say this is normal?"! They need that reassurance from someone who loves them, and is supposed to unconditionally (in the case of a parent). But then there are some who just do what they do, regardless of other people's thoughts on it. That can go one of two ways: 1) It doesn't harm anyone and is consensual 2) It's extremely harmful and is non-consensual. The United States needs to get the hell over the fact that people have sex. That people have fetishes, and are into "weird" things. If it doesn't arouse you, fine. But have a modicum of respect when someone bares their innate self to you. we are dating now
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