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I am so mad right now and I want to talk to someone, so basiy this is just me venting. I won't go into details, but last Friday I found out my husband has been ordering porn on PPV regularly for the last 6 months or so. This is a problem for me because we have always had an understanding that porn is not acceptable to us, for moral and religious reasons. I confronted him (I think that was the maddest I've ever been in my life!) and he tried to apologize and said he isn't watching them anymore and feels bad about it, too. But it's not the type of thing that I can just get over in a day, ya know? Especially when he claims that he only ordered the porn because his co-workers told him about it and he just watched the first 30 seconds or so, just to what it was. He has a tendency sometimes to stretch the truth, so I have a hard time believing this claim. I don't know how to act around him. I'm trying to move on. But every time I think about it, the angry feelings boil up again and I feel like he's not truly sorry. I don't even feel like having sex with him. I guess I don't really have a question for anybody, I just needed to tell someone how I feel. Done. nsa i will lick you and send you shoppingThe negativity is also based in concern. The reality is you be hard pressed to find people who fit into your ideal world who not bring a lot of other psychological issues to the table. Rejecting society is 'usually' due to a trauma of some sort in my experience. Your parents having been unhappy through their marriage was something I suspected. The idea of a commune can be different for different people. More so than the idea of marriage for example. Traditional marriage only involves 2 people, where as your commune could be any number of people. Most here are having enough trouble reconciling their desires with the person they're with and reel at the thought of having to do that with multiple people, I think. The negativity about the is due to concern as well. None of them want your to grow up confused and unable to integrate into society. Though I'm not sure how I feel about that particular view point. I suppose it depends how much socialization the kid would have with societal normals and how much freedom he or she have to make their own choices in that regard. I grew up in an unconventional environment caught between two very different cultures, religious motivations, and values. It was far more "normal" than what you're describing but I still have a really hard time feeling like I belong anywhere. I still have to stretch myself far to understand where other people are coming from and feeling safe or understood by them. My fear for the kid runs along those lines as well as the legal ramifications. Then there's the concern that you want this really badly but you're the only one of your group who ACTUALLY wants it. Which means disappointment for you if the rest of your group decides they don't want it. Do you have a backup plan? Sphynx is right that there's a lot of changes that go on between 18 and 30. I'm 27 right now and while there's still elements for that idealist communist in me, I'm a very very different person. I want you to be happy. lonely chat
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