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I wouldn't bat an eye at an added service charge. There are very few places in the US who have them, but the few who do in Seattle are dividing the charge more equitably between the front of the house and the kitchen, which goes a way in addressing the disparity in pay between the two. Any service issues would be something I'd take to the manager on duty, albeit with some informed observation first. And all that said, having just survived a truly hellacious job, I can say with certainty that most problems stem from inadequate training and support, rather than personal failings on the servers themselves. I saw quite clearly our servers were understaffed and blamed by the chef for the problems caused by understaffing. Of course I felt bad for the customers, we did our best to send out complimentary plates of stuff, but enough from above certainly lead to a server's attitude of not giving a shit. The veteran pros would prefer not to feel that way, but it definitely got to a point where it became a matter of self-protection at the expense of the customer. I got to that point as well a few times, hence my comment about informed observation: I can smell fear in a restaurant, and I can figure out in a glance what's going on in terms of staffing and training. For the sake of not bringing extra trouble, I might choose to either keep quiet or ask a sympathetic and carefully worded question first before making a complaint. The best choice well be to simply not come back. My experience is obviously well outside the curve though, I doubt the average patron would pick up on any of this, nor would I expect them to. girl with the triforce walletI make no excuse for spnynx's gender bias, as I've yet to any indication of it. Beware that eye roll, didn't your mother ever warn you they might get stuck that way? @@ So, forgiving her means giving her a free pass? She cheated must be taught a lesson? If he doesn't divorce her, she'll never learn? So, it's a public service? Well, anyone issuing a hard spanking should make damned sure their own hands are clean. He continually overrode her pleas for his time, giving himself a free pass to be for 1 year, starting 2 months after marriage, after 4 years of co-mingling families. Break that down by weeks, days, minutes/seconds; I'll leave the dramatics to a courtroom, or someone who loves math/has a calculator. Sphynx argued that his actions were tantamount to a bait switch. His DW repeatedly articulated her objections; he overrode her. It's as if changing her status from SO to spouse actually devalued her standing in his eyes. In frustration, she turned elsewhere, which was % wrong. But to be fair, he played a part in the harsh, but not unpredictable blow back. He didn't cause it, but he was a factor, and he owns this, as she owns her shit, which is a good start. He thought he had her tied down. She wasn't going anywhere. He could throw it in her face (and probably did) that he supported her in her dream, so she owed him. I say, that's apples oranges. Hers required far less time, she probably tended to the while doing it. It's hardly the same thing. Their top priority is to tend to the relationship, like 2 birds nurturing defending their nest, especially when little ones are nestled within. Marriage is no free pass. If anything, the stakes are even higher. Have they reached a point of no return? The OP's is that they can save this. You say they not only can't, but shouldn't. NOW who's showing a bias? I'm with the OP in hoping they can. Counselors follow THE CLIENT'S lead, not their own personal feelings/biases. Ignoring your SO. Bad. Ignoring your spouse. Worse. A wo/- is like a garden. Tend to it, it'll be more than happy to feed you. Ignore it, it'll get away from you. date sex
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