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Remember the good times. Breakups tend to get very ugly. The real trick be to remain friends, and remember that you shared 12 years together so no matter what your thoughts be later, each of you must have been someone the other thought very highly of for most of thet time. Also, rmemember that the avergae hetero marriage lasts 5 years in the USA. 12 years is good. Both of you should make a pact to avoid every nasty comment, not broadcast your complaints to your new friends, and be on your best behavior. This is when each of you can REALLY show some class. (Fact is, animosity displayed towards one's ex reflects more on the person spreading the bile.) And maybe, just maybe, "freinds" get back together over time. Its like people who grew up one environment tend to want to live in another environement for a while, but as they get older, the things they knew and want to go back. I am sorry things seem to have fallen part for you. This is your moment to shine, and in the process, come out ahead. There are old adages about this kind of stuff "darkest before the storm", "every cloud has a silver lining", etc., etc. Such things become "adages" only because they contain a large measure of truth and commonality. The best part of your life is still ahead of you. horney 69533 lady
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