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Free at Last! Dear Husband: I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good. I've been a good woman to you for years and have nothing to show for it. These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss ed to tell me that you had quit your job today and that was the last straw. Last week, you came home and didn't notice that I had gotten my hair and nails done, cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new negligee. You came home and ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching the game. You don't tell me you me anymore, you don't touch me or anything. Either you're cheating or you don't me anymore, whatever the case, I'm gone.. If you're trying to find me, don't. Your BROTHER and I are moving away to West together! Have a great life! Your Ex-Wife Dear Ex-Wife Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true you and I have been married for years, although a good woman is a far cry from what you've been. I watch sports so much to try to drown out your constant nagging. Too bad that doesn't work. I did notice when you cut off all of your hair last week, the first thing that came to mind was "You look just like a -!" My mother raised me to not say anything if you can't say anything nice. When you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY BROTHER, because I stopped eating pork years ago. I went to sleep when you had on that new negligee because the price tag was still on it. I prayed it was a coincidence that my brother had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning and your negligee was $. After all of this, I still loved you and felt we could work it out. So when I discovered I had hit the lotto for ten million dollars, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said with your letter, you won't get a dime from me.. I don't know if I ever told you this but, my brother was born. I that's not a problem. Signed, Free at Last! cool guys seeks trail running partner
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