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-people who identify as bi based on but have never had a same sex relationship I know someone like that who is very apolitical and it only takes a few experiences or relationships to politicize an identity but it does take a few. I've had a few bad experiences as a bi person including one involving physical violence that make me realize there is a double standard even though I still benefit from it. I read an essay that suggested the double standard ( the glaring inequality in the way our relationships are valued and the way we are treated) is actually something that fires up some openly bisexual activists. If you think of people like Califia or Rockway there's a demand for equal treatment that could be seen as a positive side effect of straight privilege or straight entitlement. You experience the way straight people or straight relationships are treated and the disparity makes you angry and then you demand the same treatment all the time. It could go both ways. The ability to pass and unequal treatment might make some people want to pass to get the better treatment. But it might also drive other people to demand equal treatment no matter what. That's why I'm skeptical of identity politics. Because the experience of being perceived as having different identities ( bi people, trans people, gender conforming or "passing" people) might in some cases actually politicize some people even as it makes others apolitical. seeking prince charming
just stop all contact with the mystery woman. If you feel you're "broken," what makes you think you're in any position to be in a relationship with anyone? She wants to change but the continues because you accept it. I can't imagine a counselor wouldn't have advised both of you about this, unless you're not sharing a detail about YOUR behavior??? Draw your boundary and tell your wife what you no longer put up with or you have to walk away. She has to know the consequences. But whatever you choose to do, sneaking off to have emotional sex with your old flame is deceitful and the wrong way to leave a relationship. The emotional footprints you leave behind have a ripple effect on others in life and you have that on your conscience. If you're planning to end the relationship, do it with and dignity. Start a new relationship after you've healed and done you're "me work." neglected husband seeking neglected wifeBut that is so round about to get the effect. I mean it messes with a lot and isn't focused on the problem just happens to effect the problem. But I did think about it. Also I where you are going with this. To some if they can't get fucked 3 times a day it is a huge issue. For others they just want it once a week. And other be happy just getting it once a month. The functionalist approach we took would all those problems but that basiy says it is a problem if you say so. Though psych does that a lot, consider the whole personal distress clauses. It is a hard issue with no clear cases except in extremes. live video chat
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