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East Carbon Utah dating discreet The hurt feels like murder m4w I think about you every day. Every single day, my mind races around how you manipulated your way into and out of my life, home and my soul. You took advantage of me in a way that no one ever had. I've never felt so used and mistreated, never felt so discarded and foolish for believing in someone. For believing in us.
I struggle so much with trying to understand how it's not your fault that you fucked me over so badly it's just not even comprehensible to myself and the people who know what really happened. But yeah, I know why you don't see it that way and unfortunately you probably never will. People with your disorder never do. It's just black and white.. or all grey when you're medicated.. and that's horribly unfortunate. I get it now. I get it all. I just never thought you had it in you to emotionally bludgeon me right where it hurts the most. In the end, Its my fault for believing in you and us. I can't blame you really. That's pretty much the worst part about it: That you'll never really get it and all this is for only me to swallow and nobody else.
I'd never wish even a fraction of the hurt, confusion, and emptiness you have left me with on my worst enemy. Still at the end of this, I love you dearly, I understand now. While riding the intense waves of your disorder, you're just simply incapable of certain standards and human social norms that regular people are capable of. I have truly forgiven you for everything except the fact that you didn't tell me about your mental issues for months until it was all crashing down in front of me. I forgive you for 98% of it all.
But I'll never forgive myself.
I hope it all works out for you and your kid. Please stay on your meds, PLEASE!
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