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I think much of this is coming from some of the things you suggested, but in a different way. in itself has become more isolated; in its communities, neighborhoods, and families. I came from an extended family: aunt, uncles, cousins, grandparents, all living under one roof. This doesn't exist anymore. Relationships are made, maintained, and broken by online networks and internet. The physical closeness between women isn't there either. Women are told to toughen up, and men need to be more sensative. I'm a sensative girl, and being held by other women, to laugh, cry, be loved in a friendship with another woman. My boyfriend, or any other bf, didn't brush my hair and talk to me about deep issues in my life. Now the girls I meet find that "-" or too sexual. is sex now. But I know to be for a brother, friend, cousin, family, neighbor. But that is the close relationships I had with the women in my life. I want that, I need that, and now that is sex in this society, my mind is telling me I need to fuck that. I don't mean to say that lesbians are taking a platonic too far, by any means. I do not want my words interpreted that way. However, I feel differently about women than most people I've met and differently than I believe a lesbian would. It is all in theory what I'm saying. On the second part, my boyfriend is well informed of my nature. He's been my best friend longer than he's been my boyfriend. He loves and understands me. He is interested in a threesome, but unicorns are hard to come by, esp for a BBW. Open relationships scare him, he says mostly because of STDs. Cheating I can't do. I couldn't keep it from him, and it would devestate him, if I did that without his knowledge. We have such an open and honest relationship. I don't want to ruin that. I show him my postings and everything. I've only been with two other men besides him, both in term mostly monogomous relationships. They cheated on me, and I'm slightly polyamorous. I've never had a relationship with two people at the same time. Only a few months in between relationships that lasted for years though. Maybe I am depressed, but the therapists I have seen never felt that I had depression, nor needed medication for it. seeking Kalimna ltr-, here's another question. Why do I laugh about my friend being late? I can laugh about your friends being late. I just can't laugh about my wife. Oh, maybe because I expect too much? Or is enough enough? No, it's 'cause I care about my relationship, my health, my wife's health, and our future. The more I'm on here the less future I'm seeing for us though. lady xxx
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