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If your relationship won't survive you being your own person, then what does that say about the relationship?? It's a heavy burden to be someone's reason for living. It opens you up to be their: reason for failure reason for unhappiness reason for getting a pimple on their ass, etc. But, it sounds like you've got it all figured out. I could pet you and say "ohhh, poor you so in but can't be with her right now due to circumstances beyond your control" .. but that's not what you asked for. Good luck to ya both. swinger couple in HoumsikiSome people like to say things like "Oh, I don't play games." That is a good goal to have but sometimes the only way to get something in a relationship is by some indirect method. You can't ask someone to you. You ask for someone to have sex with you over and over again and that just doesn't work. Romantic relationships are different that other types of relationships in that the more you want something the less motivated the other person might be. Romance is a bit of game really. So relationships require tactics that you would never use in other situations. It shouldn't have to be that way but it is sometimes. Yeah, the rewarding thing makes it seem like you're dealing with a (pet) chihuahua. And it change how you and your partner view sex. Spontanteity is good. I think there is probably some small degree of dysfunction in every relationship. So each person has to decide for themselves what tactics work for them given the nature of their relationship, the type of dysfunction they have, the nature of the problem, the kind of person they are dealing with, etc. I don't know that all rules can be applied to every situation or relationship; but it's always good to have plenty of options to consider. And as always, your mileage vary; to each his own. people looking for sex
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