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all turtles are slow- even you. I want you to know that the decision I made did not come easy. I missed you and think of you often still. When I came over that night, I did not know what was to come. Running on instinct isn't always the best for me. I always remember those Thursday nights with a nostalgic longing. I wanted those nights back; for things to return to how they were. But this last time I realized that wasn't to be. It wasn't the same. I still haven't figured out why. Maybe it is because of all the ups and downs we have had. Or perhaps it was because I was conflicted about him. Whatever the reason I have chose to trust that things worked out the way they did for a reason. I know you disagree. I may be wrong. But I remain believing in the notion that 'if we were meant to be, then we would already be.' Plus, I do not want to short change him at all. He is a good man. We may have some communication failures at times and less passion than you and I, but he encourages me to pursue even when all I want to do is run. So for that I am grateful. He deserves more than I can give him. Especially since some of me will always be with you. I just pray this decision won't come with later regret.
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I have similar issues. read that book, a few other books, and been to lots of therapy. at a certain point, it just comes down to you. you need to be the one to do the work of change. the books help you to understand why you are the way you are, but i went through a time recently where it didn't matter. all the dark corners were uncovered. there were no secrets. all the mines were located. and i still stepped on them and they still exploded. because the mines were everywhere. knowing where the mines are and how they got there is nice, and it's required, but it doesn't really help you when the mines are everywhere. you have to actually change. and blow some of them up. and discover that some of them aren't explosive anymore and can just be picked up and chucked out the window. and it's REALLY hard because there are lots of times where you're thinking if i do that i fucking die but then you have to do it anyway. i bet that EMDR therapy works, though. the is a system and those mines and insecurities are really neauropathways that were laid down in your childhood and are still firing even though they're no longer relevant to the situation the finds itself in today. therapy like talking it out and EMDR is all about retraining the to build new associations and pathways. You find yourself in a whole new space with no mines and plenty of room. free fuck Euless any hot girls on here
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