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- problems, each separate- 1) You flirt to sell things. 2) Your boyfriend has self-esteem issues. 3) Your boyfriend wants to take it to the next level. 4) Your communication with your boyfriend. 5) okay, there was no, but Subway doesn't do a a dollar footlong commercial. Sadly. Which of these do you really as problems? I don't think you have an issue with the flirting, at least not in your mind. I don't believe you care about number, because there were only actual problems. The second problem sucks, but that sounds like it's a part of your guy's personality. And the third one, well, unless he's talking about Galaga I don't really get the "next level" bit (and since Galaga never actually runs out of levels, I'm a bit worried anyone would think they could take that game to the "next level.") Ah but then there's number. Yes, number sounds like the real problem to me. And, much like the Galaga ships that swoop down, circle off screen, and then swoop back in to hit your spaceship from behind, that communication problem is the thing you should be keeping your eyes on. Granted, it's tough. You've got bills shooting at you, self-esteem bruising Boss Galagas trying to hit your ship with a tractor beam, and so on. But sooner or later, it's the ability to talk about the other problems, and make decisions as a couple regarding those problems, that'll catch you. I mean that part about being a couple. When you say that "He should address his self-esteem issue before we move on," you're making it all about him. It's got to be a team effort. So shoot the Boss Galaga, get your other ship back, link the two up, and start blasting those problems down together. *sigh* Yes, that even includes the counseling. Inasmuch as you can. 40 s white male seeks anal slut
What your wife probably hears is 'you don't excite me enough by yourself', so yes, she feels hurt and angry that she's not enough for you anymore. Pressuring her is only going to make it worse. Instead of spicing up the sex life 'for you', why don't you try focusing on making her feel loved and wanted and attractive again? It might make her interested again in the extra play, it not. Usually couples have this talk before bringing in an extra 'what if one side doesn't want this anymore?' That ship has sailed, so instead you have hurt feelings and a messy situation. Go back to building a solid marriage with her. You might be wise to resign yourself to the fact that you never have a threesome again, but you do have a good woman. Which is more important to you? If it's her, then let it go. If she wants it again, she'll let you know. married guy needing moreAnd this is yours. Do you much of regaining his trust? Why should he trust you again? I think your lapse in judgment (I'm being kind here), was quite big, and you are dodging the details. Can you be more precise as to what he saw that would completely destroy the trust? Since you haven't said, and probably won't, are we supposed to believe he is over-reacting? I'm more inclined to think he is justified, based on what you seem reluctant to say. You were venting Why? Was there a fight maybe just before your verbal indiscretion? And after the fight you go to an ex fwb, and bash SO's character, and are borderline sexting. So when something gets tough, and instead of talking to the one you and working on it, you run to someone. I think the Trust and Security ship has sailed. And you weren't on it. local hot dates
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