Have you ever? Have you ever felt that you were at a place in your life where you wanted two things at the same time? .where you wanted, one, to be in a loving and committed and romantic relationship, that relationship that makes you want to skip and sing right down the street, that relationship where you say..Yes! .I've finally found that person who understands me and values me and I him and I can really settle down with this person for the long term future and I'm so excited and so relieved that I finally found this wonderful person to share my life with and two, as you're searching for this person that you want to find, that you have a right to find because you're worthy of that person, that you ALSO desire ..AT THE SAME TIME that you are searching for this person .a sexual desire that goes something like this .
"I'm at such and such and age now, and I'm searching for a great love of my life, and its taking time, maybe sadly even a lifetime to find that person, and WHILE I'm searching for that person, the days on my search are turning into weeks and the weeks into months and the months into years .and you know time is just moving on by and I'm realizing .how MUCH! I want to be sexual in a truly exuberant and passionate and joyous way?"
You see, I think we CAN have those two feelings at the same time and frankly I have a problem with anyone who would say that there was some great moral problem with feeling this way, which is why I get impatient and irritated with anyone who would turn up their nose to anyone whose heart was in the right place in desiring both of these things at the same time. I think ones heart CAN be in the right place in desiring both of these things at the same time and that, if one is a good person, and if ones heart was in the right place, they shouldn't feel ashamed or embarrassed or immoral or 'seedy' in having both of these feelings and desires simultaneously.
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First, your clock is still ticking. You used the plural, and even if you limited it to two and went nearly back-to-back it's going to take 3 years from initial pregnancy to second delivery. That leaves 8 years (using your age 51 cut-off) to 1) find someone, 2) date, 3) get engaged, 4) get married and 5) go through whatever pre-pregnancy IVF requirements there are. Possible yes, simple no. Which leads me to my second point. As you have probably learned from being 39 and not married, finding a well suited life partner isn't a piece of cake. There are pros and cons to starting later as you already have a lot of life's goals done but are also more complete as an individual and have less flexibility to ways that are not your own. As a forty-something married guy with who married in his late thirties and had right away, I think I was an exception not the norm. Your dating pool is going to be broad, but your match for your journey is going to be limited. You have a great plan, but it's your plan and never be shared. relaxing in the hot tubIf you're arguing constantly, and your husband is depressed, maybe you should quit arguing so much. He's not depressed because of what happened twenty or ten years ago, but what happened yesterday. Quit trying to blame his mama for what YOU do. You're the mommy of the house, no matter how you are. You chose. Now you have the responsibility to make it a happy house. You have ALL the responsibility, because that's how it works. You're not behaving like the mother of the house. You're looking for a mother yourself, to intervene and straighten out your husband, like he was your bratty brother, give him a pill or something, to make him behave. Mothers don't say "I can't take this anymore." They take it. They fix it. They take more. Right now, it's ALL on you. Partnership is not , like you have been led to believe. Not for you. Not now. You are maybe , maybe. Maybe , even, for a while. Some people reach , some day, but not. Whatever your husband is, you very well knew it, didn't you, when you married. And you knew it when you decided to have a kid. You took on the responsibility you're now trying to shirk. You said: "All he ever really wanted" is family. When people get married and have, that's their family. Are you acting like family? Whose? He don't think you're his family, or he'd be satisfied. So what are you doing wrong? Let me tell you something when a woman says OF HER HUSBAND, "I dread him coming home or rare days off we have together" if she thinks he don't feel her hatred for him, she's a bigger fool than she thinks she is. People get depressed when the one who is supposed to them hates them. You better get you some wife-coaching quick. Because if you keep on, that second marriage won't work out either. blonde woman
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