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Before 4 years ago, we dated for 3 years and lived together with her older sister for awhile and then just the two of us for awhile, then we got engaged and a year and a half later, married. We both worked full-time jobs and went to school half-time. But at that time our schedules got really crazy during and fall semesters since she was transferring from Comm College to university and closer to graduating. I wanted to chalk up our growing distance to our hectic schedules and responsibilities. Nevertheless, I considered that but I still wanted to address the growing distance with her. She gets very defensive when I bring it up, and usually pushed us a little further apart. I feel I am an excellent communicator and she struggles with it, in fact I think it almost pisses her off that even when she verbally attacks me I keep my adult composure instead of lashing out as she does at times. So she just graduated this last Dec. and right before her graduation we had gone about 4 months without being intimate or affectionate in any capacity, needless to say I felt I was being completely ignored, I truly felt that day in and day out, she was more excited, affectionate, and passionate with our dogs than with me, I much gave up and I moved in with her sister for a week to assess the situation elsewhere. She told me she wanted me to come back home and that was the first step to fixing the dilema we faced. So I did. Every day, I wake up, and I wonder how much longer I have to starve. What is tough to hear after all of this, is that I need to do more, it is still something I am not doing that is causing her behavior . i feel more like, if she has no want to make me happy, or it doesn't make her happy to make me happy, or if she -'s that i am depressed and just yearn to connect with her and feel close to her but she does nothing about it, she just minds her own business and lets me suffer . deploying military guy needs sendoff pussy tonight
or is it just coming naturally? this is NOT a situation in which it is okay to play "devil's advocate". her life and reasons for cutting off family are also NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. she doesn't have to explain anything to you or anyone. her family, her life, her business. it is ridiculous and offensive for you to be questioning her choices, asking her to prove why she has decided to distance herself from family, and then attempting to psychoanalyze her reasons. sorry, but that is very inappropriate on levels. what exactly, is wrong with you? prettyboi for doll girliesIts a hot button issue for you isn't it, seems like it's unfounded since your aren't treated that way travel for business won't change that unless that's the way it's being presented. Perception, it isn't the truth but its a powerful thing. Your spouse could perceive your resentment, making the travel a release, a refuge for their peace of mind and self esteem that's backward. Home should be the refuge. It also could explain the 'days to reacquaint', hard to reacquaint or bond to someone you don't look forward to returning to. Probably explains the sick feeling too, stress do that you know. Look, there's no real way to give real advice unless there's more clarity about what was discussed before taking the job in the first place, if there was agreement about giving it a shot, ect I travel for business, I know the routine. I also know that it's no reason to neglect household duties, just a part of the job. Its no reason not to want to reconnect. Believe me, when I was in a relationship it went bad at the end but there were good times I WANTED to be home, still liked my job but when I landed I couldn't get out of that airport fast enough. To play with my stepson, to 'reacquaint' with my then partner, to engage who I was with. The travel, the job symptoms my friend, not cause. I'm thinking there something bigger going on and you're caught up in the weeds. Its become about the time away, when someone is needing something outside this marriage to fill a need. You might not be able to get it out of your partner, I bet no one here is really feeling safe enough to expose the underbelly for fear it get bit. encounters amateurs
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