Rambling A over a year ago, I passed up the chance of having the one person I always wanted, because I wanted my freedom. I wanted just myself again, afer years of trying to love someone else, who was determined to erase my existence I guess we could say. I said mean, heartless things that I regret.I was drowning in mid air trying to the reality of everything happening around me, that I hurt the one person I never wanted to hurt. I think back to those conversations a lot of times I just want to cry, how could I let someone break me down so badly, that all I could say to the one person I actually loved was harsh, shattering words? How in the world did I let things get so out of control, that I couldnt even control myself? Then the hundreds of memories of the love I so wanted flashes through, its just.. a hurricane of mixed emotions.. Then I block everything out, its too overwhelming for me to deal with. Tears are not something I wish to shed. I couldnt apologize even though I want to, nothing I could say or do, could erase what I said and did. Time doesnt rewind, there are no do overs. All that because at the time, I wanted myself and my freedom. Well I got my freedom and myself. Turns out I've too much freedom these days. Most nights I lay awake with a thousand memories, words, or just random thoughts rambling through my mind, to fall asleep and dream of the love I once upon a time knew. I guess the upside is I dont dream every night, well not that i always re, but these days its that I sleep. Its crazy to me, that I gave up the chance because I wasnt exactly sure if what I believed I wanted was what I wanted or thoughts of someone else. Makes no sense im sure. But now that I've had this year to myself, the freedom of doing whatever I please, no one hounding me, or trying to change who I am, Ive realized a lot of things. Like that I always changed what I said I wanted in a guy over the years.. example "I don't like little guys I like bigger guys". Only I wasnt cl Array Abington naughty bbwLooking for a texting buddy, hopefullly a relationship eventually. Hey guys, I am looking for a texting buddy, and hopefully a relationship eventually. I am very out going and. I love meeting new people and making new friends. If you would like to text me, please respond in an with your name, age and if possible a of yourself, and.. tell me a little bit about who you are!(: older women Fargo North Dakota wanting to fuck japanese mature sex
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my husband s me to tell me hes working later probably wont be home til 10 at midnight i get worried cant get a hold of him (not the first time) a bunch no answer so i check our phone records and he ed his friend who he go just afk on me with and so i ed the friend then i get a text "NO worry I be home in a bit" Seriously then i again he answers enough for me to her him and his guy friend talking while road noise and he ends the and texts hes on a drive and refuses to answer my. Yeah, I did blow up his phone. I am sure he lied about working late and ended up driving farther then he said. and he doesn't even have the decency to let me know what hes doing. this same exact thing has happened before and even not that ago. We have talked he said hes sorry hell next time but here we are and he wont even take my. I want to tell him to not bother coming home. Does'nt seem like he cares that much about being here or even being honest with me and respecting me let along making me feel like I'm important. I feel like I'm around cuz i help out cuz i help pay the bills. Its not even like his job is more intense then mine its the opposite i work longer hours and a more deadline orientated job. I duno what to do talking doesn't seem to work so what. do i need to really tell him to not come home. I didn't get married to be treated like this and worried like this but i also take my commitment seriously but we have only even been married 2 years we shouldn't even have these issues. totally free sex dates Aachen- years ago, there was an ice storm in November, just when the loons were migrating south. The weaather forced of them down, and it seems loons need to land and take off on water. Unfortunently they can not tell the difference between a lake and an ice covered road. There were confused loons in the middle of the roads all around my apartment. Animal control sent us to The National Wildlife Research Center, just down the road, and they said they would by when they could. I asked if it would help if I collected them from the area so they did not have to do as much driving around to get them, they were incredulous, b ut did say somelthing like "if you can". I should have known they were telling me something. Loons are big birds and they do not much like people. The first one was not to much trouble, I scooped it up in my arms before it really knew what was happening and my room mate opened the Land Rover hatch for me to put it in. I only got hit in the face once by a flapping wing. The next one was different, I think had been tormenting it and it wanted nothing to do with me. I managed to scooop it up, but not before I had fallen more times then I care to remember. When trying to get it into the back of the Rover, The first one freaked and I had to upset birds to deal with trying to extrace myself from the truck and close the hatch without hurting someone. The third one, we put in in the passengers door, let the birds settle then got in and shooed it into the back so we could go look for more. The forth one was much the same. We took them to the auto shop I was partners in and let them loose in the shop. I went back out looking for more alone because my room mate had had enough of big birds. With out him, I could take 5 birds. What I remember most about the night was having 5 hyperventlating loons and me in a very old Land Rover and the windows steaming up so I opened my window a little and all the birds rushed me trying to get out. Trying to drive, through fogged up wndows and having to defend myself against 5 deturmined birds is not something easy to forget. dating free site
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