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have agreed with have had some decent suggestions cleaning person, date nights, ect But in my opinion, facing the real issues is being avoided. This isn't about only paying attention to you when he wants sex or housework..those are symptoms. If you only try to address those the underlying disease resurface. This is about you feeling unappreciated. I'm betting he's kind of feeling the same way, you aren't really giving him credit for what he DOES do and visa versa. In how you approached perhaps seperating you blame him for not telling you he's unhappy but no where do you mention telling him how unhappy you are. You say he won't voice his concerns and yet "appears" unhappy. All that should be addressed before you continue with marriage plans and you should insist on answers in order to continue. Not insist on the answers you want and he doesn't have to answer but if he wants you to stay he has to agree to answer your questions and that sword cuts both ways. You have to be willing to answer his. if you can take your initial post and word it in such a way that you place no blame, that in each paragraph you focus on how your choices shaped where you are, not his, yours. where YOU might be able to change..because it's the only thing you can. Like I said in the viper pit, that does NOT reduce his responsiblity for his actions but to fix this each must focus on their own. dancer from stripclub in vegas aussie guy looking for you
And listening. I might ask, "when do you feel good about yourself besides when shopping?" She say when writing or working or helping an elderly neighbor. So I might ask if she might want to expand on those things take a writing class, volunteer somewhere. Or better, I'd ask, "how could you expand on those things that you said *do* make you feel good helping and writing to fill the times when you don't?" And then let her come up with the ideas. I might say "do you exercise? Some people feel good about themselves after a workout. This also boosts endorphins to help feel better." That's really about as close to"advice" that I can think of this early pre-coffee. And again, I am not a therapist so this is clumbsy therapy I just mimicked. A little more finesse allows the client to come to these conclusions on her own. By "creating a space" I'm not sure if you mean in the person or in the office. But if you mean in the office, that plays directly into this whole discussion. The space in which this happens involves a "space" where the client feels free to talk without judgement or fear of having her business spread around. Judgement free and complete confidentiality (certain exceptions made for dangerous behaviour or though that is debated.) still up fun tonightIt's simply none of their business. It's just like straight people: very few discuss the details of their bedroom behavior. No one really wants to know what goes on behind the closed door of the marital bedroom, and they don't want to know what goes on behind the closed door of your bedroom. Some figure it out on their own. A few busybodies and snoops be so crass as to actually ask (a question you should refuse to answer by asking "why do you want to know?"). I think most of my friends are well aware that I'm, but it's simply not a subject for discussion. I don't hesitate to refer to the men in my life, but not in the context of who fucks whom, just their ordinary involvement in my life: "- came over and kindly shovelled clear my driveway." "- gave me a very funny book for Christmas." As for your self-improvement program: good for you! And here's some specific advice. In the gym, the method is gradual progressive increase in the intensity of your workouts. If you do weight training with free weights, remember that as with ballroom dancing, form is everything. If you pile on too much weight, you'll start using body english instead of properly exercising an isolated muscle group. Take bench presses for example. First, experiment with different weights on the barbell to find the heaviest you can lift smoothly. Then do sets of repetitions at that weight for, say, visits. Then gradually increase the number of reps to ten. Once you can do sets of ten reps, increase the weight by the lowest possible increment (2 or 5 lbs), go back to 3 reps, and start all over. don't try to rush the process. Not only your form suffer, but you increase the risk of injury. Also attend to cardiovascular exercise: swimming, bicycling, rowing machines, etc. Avoid running, as it plays hell with the knees, esp. if you are overweight. Take an hour walk every day if you can. Diet: avoid faddish nonsense. A diet heavy on green veggies, with very modest amounts of carbs and protein, is all the change you need to make. If you think you have some artherosclerosis, then check out Ornish's anti-heart disease program. He's not a quack, not at all. adult personal ads
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