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you can logic your way around this all you want. You certainly have some viable stances you could take. But being Mrs. Supremely Right isn't going to win you a happy marriage. You NEED to face that your husband's vote counts. I got news for you: a fair amount of marriage ain't logical. There are all kinds of things that hubby and I do for eachother that don't make logical sense (if you are an outside party looking in) but between the two of us there is a give and take. Not to mention there's little things we smooth over or actions we perform to make the unit happy. Sometimes he's caving in more than I and other times that's reversed. There have been a number of big things one of us has sacrificed in the name of the other one's happiness. I don't know if I recommend those same things to other people but for us, it has worked out. There are going to be big things you simply have to let go of or give up on if your husband is more important to you. YOU need to get creative. YOU need to get flexible. YOU need to lead by example. You'd be amazed at what you can inspire when you simply start being the embodiment of the qualities you want to. Very troubling is: "As for the house buying I think the only reason that this keeps coming up is because it's the only thing that he actually is doing for me. He does nothing for me" you keep mentioning he does nothing for you .what does that even mean? don't you give a shit that you are lackluster in his eyes, during a fight? Doesn't it pain you that you hurt him during a fight? Aren't you afraid that fighting suspends his loving touch and attitude from you? Why is it all about whatever he's supposed to be doing for you? I don't get it. There is also this horrible business of having a chip on your shoulder about his Mother. SHE LIVES THOUSANDS OF AWAY!! You obviously hold a coveted place in his life. Wife is a big title to bestow on some one. Even if he is a Momma's boy, he is probably having a difficult time transitioning into married life and halting the Momm's boy way of life. It might be easier if he had a supportive and caring partner. Transitions take time. Cut the guy some slack. And bottom line, you NEED to respect his Mother. adult personal adds Grafton Vermont
She only wanted her mommy and it made me so frustrated. Ex did fantastic job though. Went in the ambulance and handled all the paperwork ( of course putting moi as the responsible party which cracks me up, but fine) but more importantly he remained calm. He was so proud of himself which was kinda cute. He is usually the one the freaks the heck out. He now wants a bubble around her at all times. i want sex PomandjokoThat's definitely affecting him but no one be able to tell you how or for how. I assume he was taking an SSRI. He's much the first generation of people to take them term and QUIT. A doctor's opinion only confuse matters. In general, SSRIs decrease libido so it's reasonable to expect his libido would increase. But that's complicated by the fact that: A) Doctors were slow to catch on to the fact that SSRIs affect libido. You'd think it'd be obvious, but companies denied it and doctors bought the party line that SSRIs have few side effects. B) Doctors have been slow to catch on to the fact that it's not easy to quit SSRIs. If your bf's only prob is low libido, he's very, very lucky. people are forced to stay on meds because the discontinuation effects are so severe. So the point I'm making is doctors plain don't know. Some are more familiar than others with the reality of SSRI side effects and discontinuation syndrome, but very very few have seen more than a couple patients quit after 20 years. IMO, your bf did a good thing that speaks to the health of your relationship. I also think you should get used to initiating sex because no matter how your bf's adjustment plays out it's likely to take a while. I have no first-hand experience of this, but I've heard people say it takes 2-3 years to "rebalance" after term med use. They weren't talking about sex drive they were talking about their brains. Really, there's no saying but your bf's kinda being born again. Longterm, I think you'll be glad and he's very lucky to not have standard discontinuation effects like headaches, freeze, zaps, panic attacks, etc. etc. black women and marriage
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